The sun was rising golden over the treetops. The remaining drops of last night’s rain sent silver sparkles over flowers and a lonely spider net built between two stones. A mellow breeze moved over the quiet place, bringing whispers from the trees, speaking of love and telling stories.
Sean’s bright hair was blown out of his face by the gentle power of the wind. The wheels made a lovely sound on the gravel walk. Steps were set careful to stop when he finally found what he was looking for. A warm smile made its way onto his face, sending shimmers of love to his green eyes.
“Hello my beloved.”
The smile brightened. He focussed on what lay before him, sitting down slowly, helped by eager hands.
Gently he caressed the face of his love, his angel’s face full of affection.
“It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything.”
Rays of sunlight reached his eyes and he closed them, feeling the burning sensation dwelling up in them. He sighed deeply before he looked up and straight ahead.
He saw the quill in beautiful hands, and the parchment, ready to be used.
Sean thought about it for a moment, struggling for the right words to come. Ah, but they would come. In the right moment, they always came to him.
A sad smiled crossed his face when he thought back.
“Do you remember love, the day I came to visit you in New York? It was the middle of July and it was so hot…”
~~~~~~
Sean stepped away from the safety of the shadows into the bright sun, colliding with a wall of heat. The tar board stretched dodgy under his feet, and it felt as if his shoes would stick to the coating on the roof.
Viggo didn’t move, still one arm over his eyes to shield himself from the burning sun.
Slowly, protracting each step, Sean came closer until his toes almost touched the blanket on which Viggo lay. He took a deep breath, almost tasting the heat. His shirt, almost clear from sweat, stuck to his body like a second skin.
Every deep breath born from fear of his courage made the muscles under the fabric shiver despite the immense heat.
Screwing up his courage, he set himself down next to Viggo. Close enough to feel the desire to touch his bare chest, yet still not close enough to really do it.
The Dane lay still, unmoving in the torrid sun.
Sean was relieved in a sense. Should he stay a bit longer in Orpheus’ arms, away from reality and Sean. He would have to face both of it soon enough. Lost in his thoughts, he let his eyes wander over the rooftops of the city, which became blurred in the boiling heat. Everything looked surreal in the bright sun, even the situation they were in, or would be in if Sean could find the right words without chasing his beloved away.
Beloved.
It was the first time Sean had called Viggo that even when only in his thoughts. The fact that he’d already accepted Viggo as such sent chills down his spine.
Sean almost fell back when a warm, damp hand caressed his cheek, pulling him away from his deep thoughts.
“Hello.”
Viggo’s voice was soft as a breeze.
Sean’s normally tan skin turned pale and all words were lost. He wasn’t ready to approach Viggo. Not now. Not here. What had he been thinking, turning up at his place?
The trembling taking hold of Sean found a way over the hand still holding his cheek. Blue eyes looked straight through Sean, and he would not have been able to look away even if he’d wanted to, he was drowning in the piercing orbs.
The expression reflected there spoke of everything Viggo felt, and probably had felt for ages.
Sean saw deep regret, about mistakes being made and the inability to take them back.
He saw wonder in them; wonder about Sean sitting next to him on the same blanket, close enough for Viggo to touch and feel and make sure that this was not a dream.
And he saw fear. Fear that what Viggo wanted and hoped for would not be the same as what Sean did.
Sean swallowed. All of a sudden he found the perfect words, words that had been running circles in his head for so long.
“I think I could fall in love with you.”
Viggo was speechless, this was nothing he’d expected. Such candour was not Sean’s style when it came to the L-word.
The hand on his lips prevented a direct answer.
“No, just listen. I am forty-three years old, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I feared, still fear, that this is the next, the worst one of all.”
Viggo shook his head vehement even whilst the fingers remained on his lips.
“I went through three divorces and every time I thought, no, hoped, that I had found the true love that I could spend the rest of my life with.”
A sad smile appeared on Sean’s face when he remembered.
“I was wrong; and now I have four wonderful daughters to whom I cannot be the father I like to be, even when I love them more than anything in this world.”
Viggo smiled. “I have a son too, remember?”
Sean waved his statement aside.
“Let me finish. I had romances with great women, tried a lot, and can say when I am grey and old that I had my share and lived my life to the fullest; and with a little luck, I have enough money to live out the rest of it. I have a job I like that fulfils my needs. Now the role of Boromir in the greatest movie of all time which will bring me more fame and fortune, more chances and even more women.
My whole life I thought I was consistent with my sexuality, Viggo. I love women, always loved them.”
He stopped, a little exhausted.
A single strand stuck to his sweaty forehead. Viggo couldn’t help it. He lifted a hand and tugged it carefully behind one ear.
Sean flinched anew, almost as if he’d been hit and an afflicted expression clearly showed on his face.
“Can’t you see what I am trying to say?”
His voice was full of despair.
“Can’t you see what you’re doing to me Viggo?”
The Dane’s fingertips still caressed Sean’s hair lightly, playing with a golden strand. His voice was a coarse whisper.
“What am I doing to you Sean? Tell me.”
For a second it seemed as though Sean would freeze, before a new stream of words rushed out of him.
“You scare me Viggo. Every time I see you, hear your voice; you touch me and I could scream at all the emotions you cause.
I can’t think straight. I feel hot and cold at the same time and all I want to do is run. Far enough until I won’t think of you with every beat of my heart.
Fast enough to turn back time to the day before we met in New Zealand. Turn back the time until that day I still knew what I wanted, when I still knew how my life was supposed to work and everything was all right; In the certainty that I wouldn’t make another mistake or throw everything away for something that doesn’t really exist. Until that day, when I was sure I wouldn’t fall for that foolish sensation again. I am too old, Viggo, to believe in it.”
Sean wiped his eyes, agitated, and in silence called himself a fool. Searching for his entire life, the thing he pined for, the thing he had thought he found in Viggo.
Stupid fool!
It was a touch again bringing him back from his thoughts.
Viggo’s eyes never left his when he took Sean’s face in both of his hands.
“Tell me what you hear when I talk to you Sean. What do you see when I look at you? Hmm? Tell me Sean.
What do you feel when I touch you? What do you think could be that foolish that I cannot give it to you? And what on earth could you’d be too old to believe in?”
Sean closed his eyes tantalised. The answer to all of these questions was the same. The same answer clearly shown on Viggo’s face as if it was written in ink on paper.
“Look at me.”
Viggo’s voice allowed no backtalk so Sean swallowed up his courage and looked at him. His heart was ready to melt, burst into a thousand pieces or simply quit its task when the answer was so clearly presented to him.
“People make mistakes. Big and small ones, sometimes more, sometimes less. But god gave us the ability to learn from our mistakes and find something good in the mess we left.
We live our life with the best intentions to make something meaningful out of it. But it only makes sense when we can share our happiness with someone. That’s exactly the reason why we take the quest until we find that someone.
Sometimes it takes time, or more than one tries until we find the right person. Maybe there are people who never find that someone, who knows. Still, we shouldn’t stop looking, because maybe we get lucky and find exactly what we are searching for.
Sometimes it can emphasize that what we find is not exactly what we were looking for. Therefore is it bad? Or wrong?
Sometimes the road we have to take is straight and easy. But it also can be full of curves and crossings or rocks blocking the way.
You know what I think Sean? Only the losers take the easy way. But we are none. Not you and I.”
Viggo stopped his speech for a moment to sit up and look at Sean still more vividly.
“Thanks to the state of scientific and medical advances, people grow very old. Some older than 100 years, Sean can you believe it? Maybe not all of them feel very well, but I do believe that all of them reached such an age because they cling to their lives. On a bagatelle they love so much that they can’t let go to dare the long way over the great sea to the other side.
Do you understand what I am trying to say, Sean?
100 years and we are only 40 something. Young in the eyes of those who’d survived an entire century don’t you think? Maybe another 50 or 60 years lay ahead of us, which we can use for the quest to find true love. Who knows when we’ll find it and how long we can share it with that person, but even if I find my true love only a moment before I die, than I’d be happy for that one moment that I truly loved.”
He stumbled, not letting go of Sean for one moment, as if he feared he’d disappear if he let go. His gaze became softer, meeker.
“Or we simply accept that we have already found what we have been searching for and love each other.”
Sean looked awestruck when Viggo moved his face closer until their lips almost touched.
“We both have made mistakes and learned from them. We have the experience to not make the same mistakes again. But we have to work for it Sean. First of all, we have to risk it and jump in the cold water. We have to try and find our own way, Sean.”
The Brit felt the heat of Viggo’s words on his skin, and soon after the delicate touch of lips on his own.
“What if we loose our way, Viggo? What if it’s the wrong way?”
Viggo kissed him tenderly on the cheek. He caught every single tear running unnoticed over Sean’s face with his lips, like they were the most precious things Sean could give him in that moment.
“Then we still have 50 years in which we can find the way predestined for us. And I don’t believe it’s the wrong way. It might not be the easiest, it may be full of problems ready to overcome, but I do believe we can make it. You and I, together. We only have to take the first step, Sean.”
The laughter suddenly erupting from Viggo’s chest was full of relief. It caused Sean to step back and search for the reason in Viggo’s face. His nerves lay blank and he felt really unsure what to think of all that.
“Why are you laughing?”
Viggo’s hand returned to Sean’s cheek, a calm and convincing breeze in the storm of emotion rushing through Sean.
“I am laughing because you already took the first step into your new life. You are here with me.”
Sean inhaled shakily, almost heaving in a sigh. His eyes closed unconsciously to hold back the tears threatening to rush out of them again in a wave of alleviation.
Yes, he had done it, the first step. He was here.
He leaned closer to the hand holding him, felt its warmth even through the heat; and he hoped that every new step wouldn’t be as harder than the last.
“What are we doing now that you are here, Sean?”
Soft lips touched his, nibbling a searing path over the surface. The swipe of Viggo’s wet tongue was cooling, but send heat straight down to Sean’s groin.
He let out a deep groan, speaking of everything he’d kept secret in the past months. He wanted to scream out loud, blame Viggo for all he had to go through or simply grab him and let his emotion boil free.
He chose the latter.
Fast and hard he pulled Viggo in his arms, their lips meeting in a raging attempt to be the first to show how much they loved, needed each other.
Sean had never kissed a man before, but now that he did it felt like coming home. This was right. Not difficult, just… perfect.
Hips grinded against each other, rousing desire with every second. Their jean clad erections screamed for freedom as their tongues fought for dominance.
Sean almost sobbed from passion when Viggo’s strong hand pushed past his waistband and took control of the situation. He couldn’t help but push into the welcoming heat, hotter than the summer sun.
Impatiently, he ripped the jeans under his hands apart, needing to feel bare skin. When he finally had his hands on Viggo’s ass, felt the hand on his own and his cock, it was more he could bare.
Shocked by his desire he let go, pushing Viggo off of his body but not completely letting go.
He was even more shocked to see that he lost all coherent speak. Besides panting and shaking, starring at the beautiful body in front of him with hunger in his eyes was all he was capable of.
Viggo reached out for him, took his shoulders in a strong grip and pulled him back into his arms.
“Too much… it’s all too much…”
A breathless chanting in the Dane’s ears. The answering bite set over Sean’s collarbone was met with a more surprised then pained cry in response.
Licking the bite vigorously and sucking firmly, Viggo marked him as his own.
“No Sean, it’s not enough. Not even close.”
Taking both of their cocks in one hand, Viggo set a steady motion. His hand moved in the same rhythm as his tongue on Sean’s shoulder. His other hand held him strong right over the curve of his ass, a finger teasing ever so lightly down Sean’s crack.
“Oh god, oh god… Vig, Vig please, please Vig.”
Sean spoke in the same rhythm.
“What Sean? What do you want?”
“You.. want to… come, …with you.”
Sean buried his face in the curve of Viggo’s neck, the only part of his body unmoving in the waves of his desire.
“Then come with me, Sean.”
Viggo’s grip only grew stronger, the up and down motion faster, but it was his finger diving between Sean’s butt-cheeks and flicking light as a breeze over his exposed entrance that send Sean into oblivion. He held onto Viggo like his life depended on him.
Sean’s fingers dug into Viggo’s back and the wetness erupted from him, it hitting his stomach was all Viggo needed to follow.
It seemed like an eternity until they could breath again, until their heartbeat had slowed enough for them to lie down on the blanket properly.
It didn’t matter that sweat ran in little streams over their skin, or that the sun would burn them.
Sean was here in Viggo’s arms. And Viggo was in Sean’s arms. That was all that mattered.
~~~~~~
Sean stared at the carved letters in the white stone until his vision blurred and tears started to form in his eyes. He lifted his hand to wipe them away and stopped midway. Astonished he looked at his hand, starring at the wrinkled skin covering his skinny fingers before he let it fall down into his lap again. Had he grown that old?
A small hand touched him, caressing his bony shoulder under the thick cardigan. A young woman with piercing green eyes leaned down and looked at Sean with loving eyes.
“Are you ready Grand-Pa?”
Her husband, not much older than the woman stepped beside her. He carried a little boy, around two years old. They both shared the same bright blue eyes.
“Can we go? Henry Jr. here needs a nap and something to eat.”
Sean nodded. Tired, he looked one last time at the grave in front of him. The stone angel holding the quill and the parchment seemed to wait for Sean to tell their story.
They had shared moments of love again and again over the last few decades and he felt no regrets. Only sadness because Viggo had left him first.
Their story would soon be over. Sean knew it and he was grateful.
He needed to go home to his true love and that was all that mattered.
Summary: Sean remembers how he and Viggo got together. Summer, heat and love.
Rated: R
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 3104 Read: 1057
Published: 07 Aug 2009 Updated: 07 Aug 2009