Viggo
I am lying in a post-orgasmic haze, my whole body still sensitized by the comprehensive fucking it has just received, very aware of Sean's body pressed up against mine.
He has dozed off immediately after coming ( * how typical of a man*) and his soft, warm breath caresses the back of my neck, making me shiver. One arm clasps me possessively round my chest and a leg is casually thrown over my hip, effectively pinning me to the bed.
Suddenly, the fuzziness in my mind clears and I see with perfect clarity, what I really want.
I am sick of sneaking around, hiding in shadows, behaving ourselves in public, pretending to be a hermit, while Sean maintains his “macho bloke” image, being seen about with blonde, would-be actresses twenty years his junior. Sick of lying to our families, our friends and our fans, for fear that if we “come out” the sky will fall in on us both career-wise and we will be ostracised.
Shit, we have been in the closet for so long, we are on intimate terms with the mops and brooms.
This thing we have between us is beautiful and right. There is so much hatred and cruelty in the world that we should be proud of our love and shout it from the rooftops.
So, too excited by my sudden epiphany to exercise the proper caution, I make my first mistake of the day.
I shake Sean awake and I tell him what I want to do.
Sean
I almost growl when I am shaken roughly from blissful oblivion. My body sated and totally relaxed after fucking Viggo through the mattress protests. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping it will make him stop, but Viggo persists and finally I give in.
“What the fuck Vig? Ah were sleeping!”
Not quite awake I listen to his flow of words, trying to clear up the mist in my head, so it will make any sense. It’s nice lying in bed with your lover, being told he loves you to death and I love him too, but he could have picked another time to tell me.
But when he goes on, I realize where this is leading to and I am suddenly wide awake. He wants to tell the world about us he says. There’s so much hatred in the world we must be proud of our love, shout it out he says. Fuck: why the hell did I have to fall in love with an idealist?
I grab him by the chin and bring my face very close to his, not wanting to leave any room for misunderstanding.
“No way Vig, we are not going to tell anyone. It’s not just our careers, but we are actors. Owned by the public, whether we like it our not. Think of our children! Ah won’t ‘ave it an’ that’s final!”
His face shows me clearly he will not leave it at that and I sigh.
Viggo
I am hurt and angered by his reaction, but of course, I should have known he would feel that way. I still want to hurt back, though, and I jerk my head away, giving him a shove, as I leap out of the bed.
“Sure, Sean ! Go on living a lie to save face. You are ashamed of our relationship ! “
I raise my voice and talk over his protest, while I try to find my clothes, discarded all over the room in passion, before we made it to the bed.
“Well you know, what, Sean, you may be able to lie to your kids, but I could never lie to mine. Henry already knows about us!”
I retrieve my pants from the window sill and struggle into them, trying to maintain my dignity and hold the high moral ground, as Sean’s face reflects the shock my little revelation has caused him.
“Don’t worry, Sean. He won’t be selling the story to the tabloids and he’s the only other one who knows. The reason you never knew that was ‘cause he’s an even better actor than either of us.”
I run out of buttonholes and realize that I have screwed up on buttoning my shirt, as I track down a sock, hanging from the light-fitting and stand on one leg to put it on.
“ You know, Sean, I have to get on a plane and fly to new York and get my honorary degree and you won’t be in the audience with my parents, ‘cause I can’t tell anyone you are my family.”
I give up on trying to find the other sock and just pull on my boots.
“I have to give an address to those kids, telling them uplifting stuff about seeking and upholding truth, while I am nothing but a hypocrite. Well fuck, Sean I can’t do that. I am gonna use that platform and really tell them all the truth tomorrow !”
Grabbing my backpack, I glare at Sean, then stride purposefully out of the room, thinking how childish it would be to slam the door.
I slam the door so fucking hard that the frame shakes.
Sean
I try to reply to his accusations, but when he’s like that it’s no use. I just lie there and watch him roam the room, searching for his clothes. I know I am lying on one of his socks and even though it’s a very small victory I snigger watching him search for it.
And then he drops his bomb. He’s told Henry about us, without saying it to me? I mean we could have talked about it, not that I ever would agree with it, but still. It’s not fair and I am really pissed off now.
He’s going on and on about his precious speech, his morals, his ideals, while all I can think about is the faces of my family, my girls, my mates. And then he swears he’ll tell all about us in his speech, grabs his backpack and slams the door so hard my teeth are shaking.
Leaving me speechless. Hoping he won’t do that, but knowing that there’s not much I can do to stop him, except kidnap and gag him. If he really think it’s the right thing to do he’ll do it, not even considering the consequences.
Fuck! How did this all happen. I was sleeping peacefully only 30 minutes ago.
I hope he’ll have a fucking blister on that bare foot.
Viggo
I am sitting, waiting for my plane to New York to board and trying to write my speech, but my mind is wandering all over the place and my spirit is agitated.
When I left Sean’s, I walked around for a while and now I am aware of a throbbing, where my sockless big toe has rubbed against the inside of my boot. But that is nothing to the throbbing pain in my heart. I always feel this way when I am disconnected from Sean.
I hate this feeling that we are on different pages and hate how we parted in anger, but I also feel I am right in this. I have had enough of skulking around and hiding, sure I love him, but what is love worth if it dare not speak its name ?
The hermit’s life often calls to me anyway and I would be happy to hide away in Idaho and raise horses. I could still paint and write, ride and walk in the wild.
The thought nags at me, if he really loved me, as much as he says, wouldn’t he want to shout it from the rooftops ? Does his reluctance for anybody to know mean he is not sure ? Am I just a good fuck to him ? I push the treacherous thought away. Sean does love me. He shows it in every touch and now, after six years, he can even bring himself to say it.
But if I do what I believe to be the right thing, the moral thing, will I kill the love he feels for me ? More importantly, will I really kill his career ? Sean loves acting. How can I risk taking that away from him. Even more important, will it disgust his family, ruin the great relationship he has with his daughters ?
Shit, they are calling the flight and my toe twinges painfully as I jump to my feet and hobble to the gate !
Sean
After Viggo has left I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I am still stunned with what happened here and even though I am mad, I start thinking about his words. He’s hurt and so am I and things got out of hand a bit.
I can imagine it’s hard to get this honorary degree and not have me with him. And I know he needs to be true to himself and others. But surely he can’t mean to make a public statement about us ? I recall the look on his face before he slammed that door and I shiver. I’ve just got to stop him.
An hour later I am on my way to the airport. I’ll have to go there, there’s no other way. I hope I can make him change his mind. I don’t want to think about what to do if he won’t. I can almost see the flashlights and the eager faces of the tabloid reporters.
Luckily, because I travel First Class, I can catch the first plane and pretty soon I am on my way. Time on my hands to figure out what I will say to the man I love. Because I do and I am sure he knows. Why can’t that be enough?
If he does make that statement what will I do? Give in and let the world fall in on me ? Deny it and lose him? Either way I am fucked.
Viggo
I leave the plane barefoot, carrying my boots, ignoring the sniggers and nudges from passers by. As if I could give a flying fuck what anybody thinks ! I am comfortable this way. Would’ve taken the boots off long ago, if my mind had not been on Sean.
My speech is still half-written in my bag as I take a taxi to my hotel. Entering my room, I throw my jacket and backpack on the bed and stretch out on my back, trying to calm myself by using deep breathing techniques. My thoughts are fragmented shapes, jagged and brightly coloured, like the pieces in a kaleidoscope.
Then I remember. Shit, I need a suit, white shirt and tie for tomorrow and I left in such a hurry that I didn’t bring them. Didn’t bring a change of underwear or a complete pair of socks, either. Swearing, I reluctantly drag myself down to the shopping centre and buy the things I need.
On the way back, I stop in at the hotel coffee shop and as I sit at the table, I go over my problem again in my mind.
The fragments of the kaleidoscope are beginning to form a picture and the picture has dirty blonde hair, green eyes and a smile that lights up his face.
I suddenly see with absolute clarity that Sean is more important to me than anything except my son. To hell with my principles. I know that I cannot hurt Sean and I cannot risk losing him. If this is what it takes to keep him, I will go on like this.
A shiver runs through me and my eyes are drawn toward the lobby.
My mouth drops open in shock. Sean has just walked in through the revolving doors. What the fuck is he doing here ?
Sean
A good thing Vig told me where he was going to stay so I could just tell the cab driver, sit back and think about my strategy. I cannot help but smile thinking about him leaving without his new suit, underwear and wearing one sock. How could one not love this man? If only he was a bit more flexible. Mentally that is. I probably wouldn’t survive more flexible physically.
The hotel they booked for him looked very unViggo-ish: one of those big posh looking buildings without character. “Well hold on Vig, something very warm is coming your way.”
I had to use all my charm on getting his room number from the girl at the reception desk, but I finally got it.
I walked to the elevators, hoping to find Viggo in his room and a bit more open to discussion.
When the bell rang I bent to pick up my travelling bag when I heard a familiar voice behind me say:
“Carry your bag for you Sir?”
Viggo
Sean startles like a nervous horse, as I sneak up behind him and ask can I carry his bag. I notice with a burst of affection, that he is carrying the suit I left behind, in its plastic cover.
I am pleased to see him, but intrigued as to why he has come, Surely he didn’t fly all this way just to bring my suit ?
As the lift-doors swoosh open, I give him a shove and pin him against the far wall, which is mirrored. The doors close behind us, leaving us alone and I stab the button, sending it to my floor.
“So Sean, what brings you to new York,” I ask conversationally, as I grind up against him, watching his eyes in the mirror, although I have a pretty good idea of the reason.
“Look, Vig, we need to talk, luv.” Sean’s eyes are pleading with me and he has put on his wheedling voice.
“ Ah just had ter follow yer an’ make yer see why this is a bad idea.”
I nip at Sean’s sensitive earlobe, causing him to yelp as the lift halts and the doors open. Grabbing him by the scruff of the neck, I drag him into the empty corridor and open the door of my room, propelling him roughly past me, so that he stumbles and has to grab the back of a chair to avoid falling over.
Usually, Sean would react by swift and brutal retaliation, but on this occasion, he keeps his temper and turns to me with his most appealing look.
Aha, so my instinct is right. Sean has come here to persuade me not to out us in my speech. My mouth curves in a smirk, which I try to suppress. No need to tell him yet that I don’t intend to. I rather fancy letting him work his wicked wiles on me.
I set my face grimly and fold my arms.
“I have to tell you, Sean, that I have reached my decision already and I am not prepared to change it, no matter how hard you try to make me.”
One thing I love about Bean is he always rises to a challenge !
Sean
Well at least he’s not kicking me out. And beneath his determination I can feel him wanting me. I decide to work on the determination by using the want. I lower me voice, thank God I am an actor and I can do this, I know that voice gets to him though I don’t know why.
I step in closer and speak almost in his ear, slipping my tongue out, tracing the whirls of it between words. I press his lithe body close to me, my voice as seductive as it can be, Fuck, I am good at this.
“Vig luv, yer know ah love yer and if yer really want to we can tell our friends and family, but wouldn’t it be better if we told them in private? Wouldn’t they feel betrayed having to hear this from you in a public speech?”
I slip my hand inside his shirt and brush his nipple with my thumb, the other one sliding down, aiming for his crotch. His breath is picking up and I feel his hands on my shoulder, trying to turn me around. I like our daily struggle for dominance, but decide to let him take the lead this time. Let him have it his way and perhaps he’ll listen to me.
I let him bend me over the chair and open up my jeans. He hooks his foot in the handle of my bag to drag it to him. He rummages in it till he finds the bottle of lube. He knows me so well.
He brings his hands under my tee-shirt, shoving it up, licking and biting all the way up to the nape of my neck. Slick fingers slide between my buttocks, probing me and I moan, all thoughts of strategy gone.
Within minutes I am so ready for him. When he finally pushes in, he rests his head on my shoulder, his bedroom voice slowly making it’s way through my ears, my stomach, my belly, my groin.
“You’re right Sean,” every word counterpointed with a thrust. “We’ll tell them together, when you’re ready for it. I can wait. Now can you?”
He changes the angle, hitting my sweet spot and I cry out. The sensation of being filled, mixed with relief of him still loving me, still wanting me, makes me feel high and for a moment I think: yes, he’s right, let’s tell the world, but then his hand is on my cock, stroking me and I’m coming, shouting in that chic hotel room of his, bent over that very expensive chair.
He’s right behind me and we stay there for a while, catching our breath. I turn my head to look at him.
“You know Vig: You may be a Cum Laude tomorrow, but ah’ve cum loud today.”
Summary: Viggo wants to come out.
Rated: R
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 3032 Read: 900
Published: 04 Aug 2009 Updated: 04 Aug 2009