"Eeeeh , you don't want to know... not really Oh well, put the 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign on the door... now... Oh god, c'm here then, get comfy..."
"Well, dunno where - oh, things,... things somehow happened - I didn't have much to do with it, certainly to start with... I lost it for a bit, Viggo,- when you went..."
"I did try to get me 'barrer' back, but they'd decided I was 'unreliable 'and anyway, they went mechanized, bought a load of them little van things, with brushes on the front - do an awful job, they do. They sold up the Depot, and all the gear - I bought a 'barrer' Vigs, 'me barrer' - I were in no fit state - I kept wanting... wanting yer.….. cost me sixteen quid... ! Told the Jobcentre I were gonna set up and do peoples' drives, and gardens and such - they gave me a tenner towards it... I was on the dole - that unemployment pay - tis only twelve quid a week now - it jest isn't enough... Oh Vigs,… 'Mrs R' were so kind, so bloody kind... Vigs...."
"She were me rock, Vigs, she let me stay on in 'our' room Vigs, - fer nowt - she made me eat, - kept coming up with trays of food - put them on the dressing table there, and made me eat while she chattered on and on ... She told me all about her life - Viggo - what a life!! she'd had three husbands Vigs, three ! And we never even guessed. The first was killed not long after they were married, in the war, at the end - they were so young - he were only nineteen... She's a lot older'n we thought Vigs, I always reckoned on her being about - what, forty-five-ish, but she were fifty-eight!!! She's seventy-six now, still the same, bless her, still me 'Mrs R'. She married again,the second one, a policeman, but he was killed, died of injuries in the Miners’ Strikes in the Eighties...in the riots then. Then not long before I went there, she'd married again, but he'd come and gone, with her savings an' all, she's never seen him since - bastard! So that's why she has to 'Do Rooms' "
"Vigs, she were so unbelievably kind, she'd hold me, cuddle me when I cried - oh yes Viggo - I bloody non-stopped howling for over a year - you bastard - you sodding bastard - she'd hear me and just cuddle me - I'd have topped meself Vigs, I would've,... really... ! I'd give up hope I'd ever see or hear you again, - used to hanng around the docks when the ‘Mary’ came in, but you weren't there Vigs ...; You weren't there - NEVER BLOODY THERE !!!! "
z88;
"Hey... you've got whiskers in your belly-button - did you know that ? See - hee hee ... Nah it don't hurt - you just want me head somewhere else.... well…lemme …I wanna put it…. Ooh Vigs, love,… love meh Vigs… L-o-o-v-e meh …..oh fuck me Vigs … bloody FUCK me …now Vigs …..NOW Vigs…. NOW!!….…hard Vigs …..Hard…….Harder…… HARDER…!!!"
z88;
Well, anyways, she let me stay on in our room and I painted in my old room - I painted and painted and painted - sometimes couldn't even see the sodding canvas - I were fucking hurting too much Viggo - I'd be standing there just dobbing paint on me brush, and swipin' it - swipin' and crying - plastering stuff all over - Used a huge canvas most of the time, big - seven foot by five - leant it against the wardrobe - that got a bit painted as well... couldn't see..."
"That's... I've still got it Vigs, that biggun - well, I haven't 'got ' it as such - its too big to cart around, - but a really nice bloke up North has it - he says its on 'permanent loan' cos I've said - he could have it if you ever came back Vigs... 'at a price' he says - that's me first million pound painting Vigs,…!!! He keeps it in his study - tis a dark room, but its better now with all them colours Vigs, colours of you an' meh.... He , no, WE call it 'Heartbreak' cos he knew …why.... A million quid Vigs - that's what you cost me in tears - you wanker - you sod... "
z88;
" You still smell the same you know - just there - behind your ear - why there ? Yes.. O.K. OKAY...lemme at yer then... c'm'ere..... mmm... "
z88;
"Eh - Oh well, yeah, it were 'Mrs R' who got me going - she belongs to this group -a buncha women, the W.I. the Women's Institute, they get together and make jam and cakes and stuff Heh, they even sing 'Jerooosalem' when they start the meetings and Gawd - they even make 'edible necklaces ' for competitions ....Honest - neckla.... - NOT willies Vigs, gerroff... They really are - its carved carrots, and spuds, or marzipan and stuff that you have to be able to EAT!!! Sometimes 'Mrs R's were right pretty...she'd 'marzipan' some evenings with me, when I needed to talk - 'bout you mostly - but then sometimes about what I'd do if..."
"Anyway, - BEFORE you interrupted me - they had a 'do' on at this institute and she wanted something to put on the drab walls there, so she asked if I'd let her have some paintings - course! so we stuck 'em up - I forgot all about it, 'til about three days after this 'do' she came cackling into me room with me cuppa - and plonked down - £623 in cash on me bed! She'd sold two of me paintings - haggled - said that I'd be important one day, and this chap was getting them cheap!!! For TWO !!! Then the Council did a set-up for me and I sold a metal piece I'd made, and several of my small Japanese-style paintings, delicate things Vigs -your influence!! You swine - !! Sold quite a few more - it sorta took off - got rid of a pile of some of the tat!"
"I were still on the Dole - so I had to do voluntary work as I had the odd quid coming in, helping out folk with handy stuff, gardens, cleaning, repairs and things . This old gent's place - it had really been fucked up by the local yobbos, fence down, rubbish all over his front patch -he was too dodgy to do much, and he'd stopped trying- them yobs jest picked on him.... Anyway I fixed his fence, having a bellow at the sods who kept saying they'd be back and fuck it up again- hah - I said 'HO, NO YOU WON'T ' and gave 'em what for - and they didn't come back either! There was one young lad, he came back later - gave me a hand with some of the crap - I found him petting a bush - a pretty bush, it'd got broken all that stuff on it - and he dug a place, and replanted it - and then - he didn't stop - Vigs, he 'gardened', he WAS the garden, the plants, the soil - he got me going then - we pulled up acres of old asphalt, dug up drains, stuck soil in, - Vigs, he did the planting, the layout - we got really stuck in - I'll take yer there Vigs - its a beautiful garden, the Kew Gardens of Beauchamp Road!!!! He lives with the old man now - he's shed twenty year - Bill and Ben we call em- Bill and Ben - the Flower Pot Men... like that kid's TV programme….. - Vigs - that's when I started to come back...."
"You know, that was what started me thinking - first time I'd stopped thinking so much about ME, and realised that other people could be where I'd been... lost, frightened - yes… you sod I were scared, Vigs - stupid scared- but it made me go and talk with these kids - and yep - they were there too - they'd no point in their lives, no real sense to it - no place to go - no place to 'let it all out'... D'you remember Vigs, how we used to 'explode' up there on the hills - just go crazy and scream and shout - 'exploding' with it all... "
"Well I got a few of them to gimme a hand - and that led us to doing up an old shed to meet up in, they had me old guitar, someone brought a mouth-organ, and it sorta grew and grew, more lads came, and then the Council gave us a big old Scout hut - like a hanger it was - so we did things with it - places to sit, or do weights - stuff, anyway a jazz club gave us a double bass - then we had a band - called ourselves 'The Pig's Ear' - heheheh we'd never make The Charts - heheheheh hahah - I SANG !! that's murder...!!! Then the Council said 'that's a good idea' - a bit late, but it did help with Planning Permission for a bike shed and stuff, and some tools and old paint, furniture etc."
"I was selling quite a few paintings, didn't ask too silly prices - and we needed the money for the Beanbox - that's what we call it ! I learnt to speak better - not quite 'ladidah' but less of the North so bad- its helps sometimes. I revert and talk comfy-like wi' the lads! ‘’ ‘’EAT ! yer wanker - nah not like that - no ah, they'll think I've a monkey house up here or summat - yep I'll have another meat one ..."
" Vigs, - I do love yer - I bloody do.. you .. you... Ogooodd"
"Please Vigs, I'm starving let's EAT Vigs - proper nutrition - FOOD Vigs - I'm starving - yers, cheese and salad - anything..."
"Yes, well - O.K. gissa chance - well, I were still wi' 'Mrs R' gave her a hand of course, she's not strong, not now, and it were bowling along - did meet a bloke or two - but Vigs, they'd sorta - they just weren't... weren't 'US' Vigs - company , yep, but.. not like we were..."
z88;
"You've got big feet love - why's your toe bent - it never were like that ....?"
"Oh Hosses - did the Samurai use horses - I thought they just went 'HAH' and 'HOH' and 'AHH-SOH' ... Aaar… aaarrgh aaha ….aargh ..." .
z88;
"Hey, you know me 'barrer' , the one I bought 'cos of you - I'd painted it, all over - bits of us, your holdall; the Mary's funnels, the caff - that crossing you didn't use! Me Mam's gate and porch - remember …? The hills, all sorts of bits - it were covered with your face, your hands, your back,... Vigs,... you, and everything, all mixed up - it ended looking NOT like a Council barrow at all! Well, its on display at the Modern Art Gallery in Battersea! They've lots of space there - all sorts - it looks - well - happy there, Vigs" "Mm, ‘sgood ...cuddles? c 'mon here, there... Mmm…"
z88;
z88;
"Oh - me Mam - me mam - she died , oh hell;... oh eighteen months ago -no - yes - in early March las' year. Yeah - cancer - the Certificate said 'Carcinoma of the Pancreas ' - did you know you've got a pancreas here Vigs - in here - somewhere -here ..."
"No, sorry love, no - me Mam - she knew,…. Derek - he knew - it wasn't good Vigs, not good - she said she didn't hurt - but....she sort of faded ... went transparent - I could see through her Vigs, see through her.... me Maamm....."
"Mmmm... Mmmmm.. sorry ... it were awful Vigs... and not just me Mam - but Derek - God - he was so strong - never cracked once - NEVER - ... Yer know when they give you dirt to throw in... in... well,..Derek and I had armfuls of flowers - all her spring flowers - were even gorse in them , armfuls of them, ... Derek just tore up the garden - all her flowers, just tore them up - ... and when we had to put the ... we tossed them down to Mam - so’s she'd enjoy them..."
"We went back to the house - it felt awful - the garden a mess - the emptiness of the house, - Derek was still quiet and strong - I wondered what he felt - he were like stone - mind you, if he'd cracked, I'd have... - I dunno... - anyway, I couldn't stay there Vigs, just couldn't so I went later down the Wheelwrights - remember the pub - and I booked in there - got very pissed... ! The next morning, went to see Derek and the Police were there - the ambulance - Derek had just closed the door - not locked it - left a note on the table, with all the bloody bills PAID, Vigs - .... he'd even paid the bloody bills...!!! Then he shut hisself in the car - he'd fixed the exhaust so's it'd feed back into the CAR - IN - oh Vigs - He'd been so quiet and calm,… he'd even filled up with petrol on the way back from the cemetery! ....."
"We put him in with Mam - together now, they're OK now Vigs ....its all right.... Vigs...honest...sorry, I'm all wet again - sorry - keep sniffing .... Christ, I'm a baby, bawling all the time... There's only 'Mrs R' now - and you.... yep, the toilet roll 'll do thanks ... Sorry"
‘’Yes…OK…well… a glass’ll do ….thanks…’’
"Oh dear - oops, sorry - didn't mean to spill....I'll lick it off...there - there....? Yes, all right..yeah - all RIGHT...aah yeah... aaahhh ... o.k. you soft booger - yes ……mmm…"
z88;
"What - oh the 'Sir'! hah - that sadly came after me Mam died - she'd have laughed. No it was summat to do with the Queen's Jubilee or Birthday - a whole lot of names are sent up, - like a lottery it is - and the Council had put me up because of the Centre and the work we've done there - Its really going now Vigs - really taking off - we've a conference room/concert hall, dance rooms - teaching, and for receptions, dances, a big gym, music rooms - heh three 'pianners' ...me and me 'pianners' - - I play quite a lot now - accompany the singers we've got - young Sandra - she's a voice like Joan Baez- soft but clear - wonderful range - she sings pieces like 'Sheep may safely graze', and 'Trees', and my favourite - 'I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls '... its hair-raisingly sweet Vigs - you'll have to hear her !" "Yeah, the jazz clubs doing well, popular - there's a 'caff' for knocking about in, and a Restaurant/Grill we opened early this year - run by an ex-con, an alcoholic, and three trainee caterers-cum-chefs - Its all the kids Vigs - a few 'grown-ups' but them only for their skills.
" Yeah - I put in a 'Shout and Scream Room'... its needed. Its just a room , darkish, soft walls but not padded - just so's you can kick and hit - without doing yerself any damage...Anyone can go in there -yer can scream and shout and really ... yell, smash things, let out the bad feelings - there's bags in there with metally clashing stuff inside - good fer hurling.... hurling... smashing.. .on the walls...yer gotta get IT OUT..!!! Vigs, gettit OUT....!! it does help ... a lot...!"
"Then yer voice goes all quiet, worn out like - you sorta fill out - then you just get up, and walk out into light, and noise, people, talking....No-one says anything - does anything - they know - most of 'em have 'Been In There and Done That' at sometime".
"There's something missing there Vigs, something we need - there is a room, Vigs - we need a Karate expert - yersss - I DO mean you - YOU could come - these lads do bloody well with their own self-help - but sometimes they need more... some training in discipline - body and mind - its a job you-'d love Vigs - truly - come to the Beanbox - Dunno what they'll name you - I'm 'The Bag' A beanbag I spose - but its ' Hey - Bag can we...' or 'Get the Bag he'll have a go... ' !’’
‘’Its fun, but bloody hard work sometimes - not all play - some difficult kids, and bad atmosphere from their homes - but it usually gets sorted without too much bad feeling....Yeah ? ..oh... Queeny, ... it seems Queeny put her hand in the hat and pulled out 'Sweet sixteen - me Seen Been' - so a grey man, with a grey voice came and told me what happens, and what I could and couldn't, and shouldn't do.!! He pointed out that it would help with the Beanbox - give it a bit of ‘snob-class' - and it has, it has! So I said yes. ‘’
‘’ He'd looked up the family - looking for terrorists eh? and found the old family name - you know, the 'Haitch' - well, he said it came, the name 'Behan', from the old Kings of Ireland - hah - put him straight on that - it means 'top of the mountain', or 'top of the hill -' You know me and hills, Vigs - those wild windy days.....anyway, he said 'Behan' was posher looking than 'Bean' and the shield - a heraldic shield Vigs - meh with a shield.... I said nah, it'd be ' Six jellybeans askew on a Formica Table-top argent' .... he didn't think that funny - huh...? So I haven't got a shield Vigs, no Unicorn supporters, or lions rampant....yes, well.. with you doing that - no wonder I'm rampant - VIGS.. Its not a lolly - VIGS - you'll lick it OFF - oOh VI-i-ig-g - stoppit - no, but hey steady ... ooh -o-o-o-o-h OK … I’ll………Surrender...!!!."
z88;
z88;
"D'you know you snore, Vigs - snore like a loud mole - underground - under me arm - and you DRIBBLE!….. Let's have some coffee - chuck us the 'phone..! "
z88;
"Yeah well it was at Buck House - 'Mrs R' and a coupla special lads came - they'd all been impressed - not sarky - I think they realised it was them as well - tried to say so...! Lotsa photos for the Conference room - all posh like ! It were late last summer - after Mam and Derek - They'd have liked it I think, really!’’
‘’ So -I've been enjoying working - am good at selling me stuff - think of how much gear we need for, say the gym, and if I don't want to push their silly faces in, they can spend their lolly! ‘’
‘’I don't sell 'my' stuff Vigs - not the paintings and bits I - we - are part of - like 'Brookhead' that was the first I did when I got meself together...There's 'Dock Cafe' and 'Heartbreak' ...hey, Nigel can have that now - but I'll make it copied fer us !!!!! Me 'Barrer' lives at Battersea - and there's ''Behan' 'The Hilltop' that's me really special one - its you, Vigs leaping up in the sun - like a mad skinny kid - 'smine - me old love - mine - like you are....."
z88;
"I go around giving talks to those who think they want to start up a centre too - but its hard to tell them how bloody hard it is - and they have to have - the knowledge - the care - the bit that makes them understand Vigs, what it is to be lost, to not know who or what you really are - with no-one,... nowhere... - its bad - bad for them and bad you've to have had, to understand - Some are poor little sods - most you can reach in some ways, but a few - yes, a few - sadly- tragically, you have to let drop - they're too far down, in their dark - I hate letting 'em go but - I know - I wasn't 'left' - it felt like it - but there was always 'Mrs R' and you, Vigs you - somewhere.…’’
‘’ You know something you skinny bastard - I love you - ell oh vee eeh Vigs I Loves yer - sod! "
"Hey - you scunner - you glad you're here ?... back?... Eh? Really good eh?...Cos I am... I‘m back - in meself - "
"I'm better now Vigs, all in one piece like - like I was when I pulled you outta that road - sixteen years, five months, eleven days ago....and now we can laugh again! "
‘’ - 'Mrs R' will be so pleased you're home! She said you would be back too!"
‘’So now Viggo - Professor Mortenson, ‘Come live with me and be my Love, and we will all the pleasures prove…… ‘ I’ll paint you, for ever and ever - you beautiful sod - I’ll paint with joy - - oh Viggo oh dear heart - you and me - we are Home!!!’’
Summary: After The Professor's story, so Sean tells his story......
Rated: NC-17
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 3678 Read: 500
Published: 03 Jul 2011 Updated: 03 Jul 2011