Thump. Bump. Flail. "Urk. Ow! *Shite!*"
"Wait. Oof, what're you--hey, I can't--"
"Shove under and quit whinging. Whose brilliant idea was this, anyway?"
"Well mine, technically, but see--"
"Yeah, exactly, so you can fuckin' deal with the edges there."
"See, I was just making the point that this whole thing--mmf! Ouch! See, gravity is not our friend here, that's what I've been trying to tell--oh, that's okay. That's good.."
"Yeah, open up, luv. There. Oi, shift just--yeah, like that. If you put your leg round here, then I can get in like this-"
Scrabble. Wedge. Struggle. "Wait, wait, I'm slipping downward!"
"Fuck, you're gonna break me bits in half, like that!" Brake. Lunge. Grab.
"*Argh, that's not an emergency handle!*"
"Sorry! Whatever possessed Cronenberg to put a nice girl like Maria under a great, daft nutter like you, anyway? Oh Christ, that's gonna leave a mark! Look, if you just hang on there, get your knees up--oh, no, you're *not!*"
"Come on Sean, I think I've fractured my scapula!"
"I'm not going under you again, my kidneys won't take it!"
"It'll be easier for your knees if you--oh god, that's nice, yeah, okay.. Dammit, I think I've got a splinter--no no, keep going--nnnngg. Guh.."
Brace. Wriggle. Shove. "That's it, luv, that's... fuck, yeah, just like that"
"Jesus.." Writhe. Pant. Gasp.
"Easy - easy... just like that 'uunnnn' like that.."
Moan. Clutch. Thump. "I can't - oh. Oh there. Oh fuck - "
"... Jesus.. Vig -"
"Uh. Right there, ufff, that hand, please, yes, down there-ohgoodgoodgood -"
"Ack, brace yourself there--shit, wait, yeah, okay - okay-ohhh.. " Groan. Clutch. Lick.
Arch. Grunt. Jerk. "Holy.. mmmmmmmfuuuuck, Sean..!"
"Vig - hold on, just - oh fuckin' 'ell... fuck - ohhh, 'ella33;!" Collapse. Burrow. Pet.
Wheeze. Loll. Gulp. "Sean"
"Eh?"
"We've slid to the bottom."
"Jehsus, no, really?"
"See, this is the point I was trying to make."
"That insanity is contagious? Shit, me knees will never be the same."
Wriggle. Grin. Nuzzle. "No, that it's impossible to have sex gracefully on a staircase."
"Idiot. I could'a told you that."
Snicker. Hug. Snuggle. "And yet, here you are. Tea?"
"And a bandage, thank you, Mr. bloody Director. Oww..."
Summary: Viggo and Sean investigate gravity.
Rated: PG-13
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 369 Read: 637
Published: 31 Jul 2009 Updated: 31 Jul 2009