Orlando burst into the studio in a whirlwind of coltish arms and legs and skidding to a halt, narrowly avoided knocking over my jar of turps and a table full of oil paints.
He cocked his head and said,
“Why are you painting a potato salad?”
“I’m not.”
“Well it looks like a potato salad with chives.”
“It’s not. Was there something you wanted apart from exercising your flair for artistic criticism?”
“Don’t get the hump. Did you hear about Ian’s party?”
“Ian’s throwing a party?”
“Yeah, for Valentines Day. It’ll be a themed costume party, guys only. He asked me to hand out invites. Here’s yours.”
Positively bouncing with excitement, he handed over an elegant ivory envelope. I wiped my hands down my jeans, leaving green streaks and took it from him, flipping open the flap, which was loose. Inside was a card with a date, a time and a name. I looked at him questioningly.
“The name tells you the character you’re to be. We are all great lovers from history. You’re to keep your identity a deadly secret.”
“You peeked already!”
“No. Well….yeah, but I only know yours and mine.”
I looked at the card again,
“I’m a woman.”
“Well duh. Only men going, so half of the pairs will be men playing women.”
“Pairs?”
Orlando sighed theatrically,
“I think inhaling all this stuff is affecting your brain, old man. Great lovers come in pairs. At the party, we get to guess our other halves from the costumes. To tell the truth, I’m a little disappointed to find we are both female. I was hoping you’d be my Romeo. Laters, mate!”
And with that he was gone, leaving me staring at my card, which now had green thumbprints on it. Ian was a devious bastard with a wicked sense of humour and I wondered what he was up to this time. I also couldn’t help wondering if Beanie would be back for the party and if so, what costume he’d be wearing.
Sean
Returning to New Zealand early in the morning, I felt dishevelled, jet lagged and exhausted. I had informed Peter I would be arriving today and he had sent one of his people to pick me up. Luckily the bloke wasn’t the talkative kind or maybe he was just being considerate, but I was able to crawl into bed in no time.
I was wide awake only three hours later and got up to make myself a cup of tea. I knew I had this one day to get over my jetlag, a rare luxury, and would be back on set very early next morning. Deciding I would take sleep whenever I could during the day and would go out in the evening to have one – maybe two – beers with Vig, I smiled to myself. I missed him.
Sitting on the couch in my living room, I was sipping my tea when I noticed the envelope sticking out of the letter box. I grinned when I read Ian’s Valentine’s party invitation for that evening and the small note he had included about famous historical pairs… I kind of liked the idea of him picking out Mark Anthony as my character. It wouldn’t be hard to find a costume I guessed, a sheet, some leaves and a few flirtatious words with Laura, who worked in Costume, would do the trick.
I was wondering who would be my Cleopatra though. Liv? Miranda? One of the extras? Anyway, it would be fun. Ian’s parties always are.
Viggo
I recruited Liv to help with my costume and swore her to secrecy.
Once she got over being a little ticked off that the girls were excluded from the party, she joined in with enthusiasm, telling me that she had the perfect gown for me. From her bedroom closet, she produced a strapless gold lame number, slit in front, almost to the crotch. She’s a tall, well-built woman, so she was able to make it fit me with only a few adjustments and a little padding around the bodice.
I tried it on, still wearing my jeans and she stood back and contemplated me critically.
“Yes, that works, only you need to take off the jeans, Vig.”
When I told her that I wasn’t actually wearing any underwear, she rolled her eyes.
“So the rumour I heard is true? Well you’d better wear some for the party. Cleopatra was a remarkable woman, who certainly had balls, but I doubt she had hairy ones showing beneath her gown.”
We shopped together for a wig from a costume shop, some suitable trashy jewellery and the ensemble was completed by a rubber snake from a joke shop.
Liv was also helping Orlando with his costume, which she tried to keep secret, but I knew from his parting remark that he was Juliet, so in the end she helped us dress together and did our make-up.
Orlando was wearing his elf wig and another of Liv’s gowns, this time in a soft pink chiffon with flowing sleeves.
“Do I look like Juliet?”
“More like Legolas in a frock, but hey, he probably does slip into one in his free time. Ow!”
He thumped my arm and grinned at me,
“For a filthy human, you scrub up well yourself, Cleo.”
Liv agreed to drive us to Ian’s, even though she hates driving on the wrong side of the road and she dropped us right by his door, so that we wouldn’t have to negotiate the gravel driveway in our bare feet.
As we reached the porch, the door opened and Ian stood there, resplendent in a Greek goddess costume, with Billy dressed as Cupid by his side, compete with wings, halo and a little bow and arrow.
Sean
Next morning in Costume, I asked Laura if she was willing to help me. She laughed when I told her about the party and the costume I needed, making it obvious she knew nothing about it and wasn’t invited. Laura is a nice girl and she and I really get along well. There’s nothing between us though and I just feel comfortable being around her.
Laura said the costume would be quite easy and she plundered Ngila’s stock, coming up with a large piece of red cotton that she wrapped around me. A leather belt and a black cape completed the transformation. She promised to get things done before the party and would even try to make me a headpiece. I grimaced when she offered to have props make me Roman sandals, because that would take things too far and I would wear my boots. I guess I am not the sandal type.
Later, Laura gestured at me when I was leaving the set and was back into street clothes. I followed her round the back and closed the door behind us. She beamed at me, holding up the costume. I didn’t feel much like undressing again, but I didn’t want to disappoint her so I took off my sweater and pulled the red tunic over my head.
“It’s a bit short, isn’t it?” The hem of the cloth only just covered my thighs and I could easily imagine the Hobbits and elf commenting.
“Ah come on Sean,” Laura said, “these Romans weren’t prudes. Besides, you have great legs.
I shrugged, then admired the gold coloured laurel wreath she’d made me and thanked her.
I kept on pulling the hem of the tunic as I parked the car outside Ian’s house that evening. Ringing the bell I steeled myself for the inevitable Hobbit attack, but I blinked when a woman opened the door. Her dress was beautiful and the costume and wig made it clear this was Cleopatra, but something was very, very wrong with the way she looked. For a moment we stared at each other and then she started to laugh.
“Mark Anthony, I presume?”
“Viggo? What the fuck?”
Viggo
Once Ian had dragged us inside, we’d really gotten into the swing of things, assisted by his lethal Valentine punch, which was being served by Elijah as a very fetching Scarlett, assisted by Dom playing Rhett.
Orlando was thrilled to find that his Romeo was Karl and Sean Astin was playing Napoleon to John Rhys Davies’ Josephine, which cracked us up. Ian had his place softly lit with a pink glow, plenty of scented candles and red, heart shaped balloons everywhere. He had the biggest stunties oiled up and dressed in skimpy loin cloths, serving the canapés.
I looked around hopefully for Sean. I’d really missed him and was looking forward to seeing my best mate on the shoot. Who was I kidding? I’d always hoped we could be more than just good friends, but Sean was uncompromisingly het. I really wondered what costume he’d be in. If he was dressed as a woman, I’d laugh my ass off.
Next time the bell rang, I found myself nearest the door and Venus seemed a little occupied with re-oiling Lawrence and feeding him smoked oysters, while Cupid was running around everywhere in his cute little costume.
I opened it to see a very Roman profile, crowned by a gilded laurel wreath and as the owner of said profile turned toward me, I started laughing. The very short tunic revealed a fine pair of legs and I said,
“Mark Anthony, I presume?”
Sean gazed at me speechless for a moment, before he managed a ”what the fuck?” and at the precise moment he recognized me, there was the twang of a bowstring and Sean suddenly had an arrow slap in the centre of his forehead.
Fortunately, it was the type, with a rubber sucker on the end, but Sean let out a roar and made to chase Cupid into the house and up the stairs. I had to save Billy’s life, so I did the only thing I could think of and thrust my hand up the tunic.
Sean froze in shock and turned slowly to face me, while I kept hold of his nuts. He was still wearing the arrow, so I wound my snake around his neck to free up a hand and gently removed it from his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but on a whim, I swiftly kissed him, to loud cheers from the other guests.
Sean
Before I had even finished my words I felt a blow on the centre of my head and my eyes fell upon Billy, who was wearing a tiny Cupid costume. The bastard’s red painted mouth rounded in an ‘O’ because of his flawless aim. I yelled at him and tried to push Viggo aside so I could follow him up the stairs when suddenly Viggo’s hand shot out and grabbed me by the balls.
I froze in mid movement and looked at Viggo, who carefully removed the plastic arrow. I started to ask him what the fuck he thought he was doing, but then he leaned in and kissed me.
Instead of pulling back like I should have, I allowed myself to sink into that kiss for a moment. I knew Viggo was probably joking, but I had secretly yearned for him, for his kiss, and it felt good. I wanted to pull back when the others cheered, but Viggo’s fingers stroked my balls slightly and then fell away. A small sound of protest escaped from the back of my throat and I no longer cared about the audience, grabbed Viggo by the waist to pull him closer and let my tongue slide into his mouth.
It must have been obvious what was happening and the room fell utterly silent. For a moment Viggo froze, but then he responded to the kiss eagerly, the hand that had been between my legs now falling down to my arse, pulling me close enough to feel how hard he was.
I broke the kiss reluctantly, realizing how daft we must look, Vig in drag and me in a too bloody short tunic making out on Ian’s doorstep. I coughed and stepped back a little, throwing a glare at Billy who had stopped halfway up the stairs and was staring at us. I looked at Viggo and tried to speak casually,
“Thank you for the warm welcome, Cleo. My Roman arse is freezing, can we finally step inside?”
Viggo
Give Sean his, due, that was an impressive recovery and I let go of his balls, smoothed down his tunic and shooed the audience away as we headed over to the drinks,
“Show over, boys. Nothing to see. Punch, Sean?”
“Punch? When I get hold of that little arsehole you’ll see me punch him. Sod that poncy punch. Isn’t there any Scotch?”
Once he’d downed a couple of generous slugs, he was grinning again, but Cupid was giving him a wide berth, while being pummelled by Scarlett for treading on her gown and tearing it.
We gravitated over to a shadowy alcove to get away from Ian’s smug smile and took the whisky bottle with us.
“So, Vig, was that just you being in character out there and playing Cleopatra?”
“Well historically, she certainly had Mark Anthony by the balls.”
“Stop pissing about, Vig. You know what I mean.”
He was still wearing my snake draped around his neck, so I grabbed it by the head and tail and used it to pull, him close.
“No, Sean and yes.” I kissed him again, this time to show him that I really meant business and he kissed me right back. When we came up for breath, there was a definite tent in the tunic and my own dick was bursting free from the gold posing pouch I’d bought to match Cleo’s gown.
“It’s weird how right this feels. Seems like we really are a couple. Ian is a wily old bastard.”
“It’s what I’ve been hoping for, but it was such a distant dream, Sean, until you got shot by Cupid’s arrow!”
Sean’s big hand insinuated up Cleopatra’s skirt and rummaged around.
“Want to take this elsewhere and get properly coupled?”
I nodded and looked across at the stairs, where Rhett was attempting to stagger up with his arms full of Scarlett, to cries of encouragement, then over to the couch, where Romeo and Juliet were wildly making out.
Unable to wait any longer, we slipped out into Ian’s garden, where Marc Anthony boldly threw Cleopatra down and set about conquering Egypt.
“Ow, Sean! There’s gravel here.”
His chuckle rumbled through us both, as he pressed me to the ground,
“Well, Vig, the path of true love never did run smooth!”
Summary: Ian is throwing a Valentine party...
Rated: R
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 2502 Read: 916
Published: 17 Feb 2010 Updated: 17 Feb 2010