Sometimes we ask others questions not for the answers themselves, but to hear the denial, the reassuring "No," behind their words.
"Don't be a prat. Of course I love you, Vig."
"Too old? 'Course not. You're, what, one teenager older than me? ...Ok, nineteen years. That's not so old."
"I don't care if you're a dad. No, not even if I'm closer to his age than yours. Does it bother him? ...Well, it doesn't bother me either, then."
"No, it's fine if you need to turn in early. It's only a bunch of guys going out to get shitfaced, after all."
"I'm only going because you want me to. I'd rather stay here with you. ...Yes, really."
And sometimes we don't.
"Of course it was a one time thing. We were both drunk off our arses. C'mon, Vig, like that hasn't happened to you before?"
"It didn't mean anything. You mean so much more than something like that. You do. Don't look at me like that."
"No, I don't think you understand. It's not about him and me. It's about us."
"It's not like you're around that much, you know. ...Come on, you knew as well as I that this has been coming for a long time now."
"I'm sorry, Viggo. I love you, but I can't live with you."
Viggo crumpled the empty condom packet in his fist and shoved it back in the pocket of the jeans Orlando had carelessly left behind.
After a few moments of silent debate, he picked up the phone and dialled a familiar number, one that was burned into his brain alongside birthdays, anniversaries, favourite snippets of poems, and the way blond turned to gold in exactly the right light. He scrubbed at the denim laying across his lap, absently noting the way it scratched the pad of his thumb as he waited for the line to click through.
There was a pause. Instead of the jarring ringing he'd hoped for, he was stymied by a busy signal. Frustration reigned for a short space as the handset hit the cradle, and the jeans slid to the floor.
Viggo shrugged on his jacket.
Sometimes life is all about the 'no's, the denials, the willful blindness. And sometimes, just sometimes, it's about something more.
The door opened, spilling golden light into the street, onto the man who slouched on the steps, fists shoved into his pockets, disappointment, anger and frustration mingling in the set of his mouth, the lines of his face, warring with the smallest shred of hope. With the light came the smile, the voice, the first tentative tendrils of some undefinable thing that Viggo would look back at later and realize had been there all along.
"Hey, Vig! Good to see you! What're you doing out here in the cold? C'mon in. ...No, no, of course it's no bother. I was just thinking of you, you know that?"
Sometimes it's about heeding the "Yes," we've always known has been waiting to be heard.
Summary: Sometimes life is all about denial.
Rated: PG
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo/Orlando Bloom
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 501 Read: 769
Published: 18 Aug 2009 Updated: 18 Aug 2009