"I wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me." He murmured to himself half expecting the shadows to answer him. They didn't. The silent darkness just seemed to creep a bit closer. He shivered and flipped on the bedside lamp.
'Now I'm scaring myself.' He thought weakly as he tugged his discarded jeans on and then padded down the hall to the living room.
Something lately had been wrong. He wasn't sure what, he couldn't put his finger on it but Viggo was definitely not himself. He sat down on the couch and out of habit grabbed his journal.
He opened it, but couldn't write. He sat there in the dark silent house that felt more and more oppressive by the second.
He looked at the dark TV set. He hardly ever watched the damn thing but here it was three forty in the morning and he couldn't sleep. Maybe let the all night news or an infomercial or even the weather channel lull him into sleep? He flipped it on but Henry had been the last to use the TV it was on a music channel. MTV or VH-1 or Fuse or some shit.
Viggo started to flip the channel but hesitated at the opening chords of a song that was coming on. He sat for a moment and listened and watched the black and white video. After a few moments he was leaning forward listening intently to the lyrics.
If I sorted it out If I knew all about this one thing Wouldn't that be something
I promise I might Not walk on by Maybe next time But not this time
He listened to the song and watched the black and white images flicker across the screen and then took note of the song title and band name at the corner of the screen. He flicked off the TV and rushed over to Henry's computer. He booted it up and went on the Internet looking up the band. He found their website and a copy of their lyrics and then he logged into Henry's song download account and downloaded the song. He spent ten minutes trying to find his wallet to pay the stupid ninety-nine cent download fee. He had to hear it again.
He played the song over and over and over again. Then after playing it about the twentieth time he sat back and stared at the sun beginning to coming up outside the window. The sky was painted in golden pink light and he knew what the shadows in his mind had been trying to tell him.
Viggo burned a copy of the song onto a CD, carefully hand printed the name of the band and the song title on the front. Then he included a hand printed copy of the lyrics and wrote three words then signed his name. He rummaged around until he found a CD-mailer then addressed the lot and by that time he realized the post office would be opening soon.
Viggo grabbed his keys and his wallet and then realized he had no shirt on. He raced back to the bedroom grabbed a shirt out of the closet and opened the door. Fuck it's cold! He thought just remembering it was February 8th in Idaho. He slid on his boots and grabbed his jacket on the way out to the car. When he got back home from the post office he was finally able to sleep.
---
Five days later Sean was sitting in his living room staring at the TV but not really seeing the images. He hadn't been really seeing them for days now…weeks it seemed. He felt like he was walking around in a fog. He couldn't put his finger on it but something was wrong.
He wasn't sleeping well…nothing he tried worked except drinking himself into a stupor and then he always regretted that come morning. Last night he didn't drink, sat in front of the TV all night and watched, and watched, and watched--and nothing. The ashtray on the table beside him was full but he couldn't find the energy to even bother to get up and empty it.
Whenever he closed his eyes he felt like the world was closing in around him, as if the walls were physically moving toward him. So he didn't close his eyes for very long at a time.
The doorbell rang. "Who the fuck?" Sean asked the empty room as he got up to answer the door. He hadn't realized how late in the day it was already becoming.
"Delivery for Sean Bean." The man said.
"Oh, thanks." Sean answered signing the little delivery slip.
He looked down at the package and smiled at the address. It was the first genuine smile he'd had in a while.
Sean went to the kitchen on the way he opened the small package. He looked inside but wasn't sure what it was at first. He dumped the contents out on the kitchen table.
A handwritten note and a CD that said "One Thing" Finger Eleven.
"What the fuck?" Sean asked himself then he picked up the note.
The note said:
Song Lyrics by Finger Eleven
Restless tonight Cause I wasted the light Between both these times I drew a really thin line It's nothing I planned And not that I can But you should be mine Across that line
If I traded it all If I gave it all away for one thing Just for one thing If I sorted it out If I knew all about this one thing Wouldn't that be something
I promise I might Not walk on by Maybe next time But not this time
Even though I know I don't want to know Yeah I guess I know I just hate how it sounds
***
Sean- Call me, please.Vig
Sean stared at the note and then picked up the CD and went to the stereo in the living room. He put the disk on and the song started up. Sean listened and before it was even over Sean had run to his bedroom. He was packing an overnight bag.
---
Viggo was in the kitchen trying to salvage what was left of a potted plant Molly had knocked over when tearing through the house for no real reason whatsoever, when someone knocked at the door. He had potting soil all over his hands and he shot a dirty look to where Molly was sitting with a very sad look on her face.
He grabbed a towel and headed for the door. The person knocked a couple more times and he called out. "Hang on!"
When he opened the door Sean said, "Tired of hanging on." Then he grabbed Viggo and kissed him deeply.
Viggo staggered back and they slammed into the wall of the foyer.
After a few minutes both men had to come up for air.
"Sean?" Viggo panted breathlessly.
"I've sorted it out. You should be mine." Sean answered repeating the song lyrics Viggo had sent.
Viggo smiled and the shadows retreated and with that smile Sean felt the world opening up and the walls around him drawing back.
I promise I might Not walk on by Maybe next time But not this time