~*~*~ * ~*~*~
And he wants to say it. He wants to tell Viggo that he thinks, no, that he knows that he loves him. But he can’t.
Once you’ve said something it’s for real. You have to deal with it. And he can’t. He doesn’t know how. This isn’t him. And yet it is.
So instead he gets on his knees in front of Viggo, nuzzling his face against Viggo’s hard cock, saying: ”Please”.
And maybe Viggo understands. Maybe he doesn’t need to hear the words. Because the hand gripping Sean’s hair is firm and sure and he has learned that when Viggo growls: ”Min!” it means that he needs Sean, needs to take Sean, and maybe that’s enough.
And they’re on the bed, Viggo slamming into him, gasping in his ear
Jeg elsker dig, jeg elsker dig, forstår du ikke, hvor meget jeg elsker dig? Jeg vil ha’ dig Sean, du skal blive her, du skal … Jeg kan ikke – du er så stram, Sean, jeg kan ikke – du er min. Du er min. Min, min, min, min.
Viggo’s cock stretching his arse, Viggo’s voice filling his mind, and he wants more. But then he would have to drown out Viggo’s voice, would have to say words he is not even sure he knows and so he moans, and begs, and hopes that Viggo understands but he has no way of knowing.
And afterwards, when Viggo pulls Sean half onto him, stroking him, kissing him, murmuring soft words now
Jeg elsker dig så højt Sean. Shhh, shhh, det er okay, det er okay. Der sker ikke noget, jeg er her. Jeg skal nok holde dig, shhh. Rolig, lille elskling, rolig nu. Jeg skal nok blive. Shhh ...
Sean feels his heart clench and suddenly there are tears on his cheeks, dripping salt onto Viggo’s face and he doesn’t want them there. He doesn’t want to be like this. And he doesn’t want Viggo’s hands to loose their surety, to go hesitant. Doesn’t want Viggo’s voice to sound uncertain – Sean, did I hurt you? – but he ends up saying words that aren’t right. Hears his own voice saying: “I don’t think that I can do this any more.” and Viggo is suddenly quiet. But his hands are firm again, stroking Sean’s hair and maybe he does understand.
And he wants to say: “I am a coward. I’m lousy at this, and I can’t be in love with you but I am. And I don’t understand this. Don’t understand myself.” He wants to tell Viggo that he is scared, to apologise for being scared and for ruining everything, but Viggo won’t let him. Every time he tries, the words – the uncertain, frightened words - are taken away by Viggo’s lips.
“Just let me have this, okay? I understand. It’s okay. But. But just let me have this,” and Viggo’s voice is only a whisper – soft and sad - and it dawns on Sean that he doesn’t understand.
So he says it anyway.
What else could he do?
~*~*~ * ~*~*~
Translation notes:
”Min!”
Mine
/Jeg elsker dig, jeg elsker dig, forstår du ikke, hvor meget jeg elsker dig? Jeg vil ha’ dig Sean, du skal blive her, du skal … Jeg kan ikke – du er så stram, Sean, jeg kan ikke – du er min. Du er min. Min, min, min, min./
I love you, I love you, don’t you understand how much I love you? I want you Sean, you have to stay, you have to … I can’t – you’re so tight Sean, I can’t – you’re mine. You are mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine
/Jeg elsker dig så højt Sean. Shhh, shhh, det er okay, det er okay. Der sker ikke noget, jeg er her. Jeg skal nok holde dig, shhh. Rolig, lille elskling, rolig nu. Jeg skal nok blive. Shhh./
I love you so much Sean. Hush, hush, it’s okay, it’s okay. Nothing’s going to happen, I’m here. I’ll hold you, hush. Easy, little beloved, easy now. I’ll stay. Hush
Summary: Sean wants to tell Viggo that he loves him, but he can't
Rated: NC-17
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: NoneChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 711 Read: 1021
Published: 30 Jul 2009 Updated: 30 Jul 2009