I did it! I really did it! I really went into this shop and bought these things I’ve been dreaming about for such a long time, never daring to just enter the shop and buy them. Still my heart is racing and I hope that my cheeks aren’t too flushed as I cling to the brown paper bag containing my new treasures. Need to relax a little, need to get my wits together, maybe some tea would help, nobody will know what’s in this innocent looking brown bag.
I take a seat in a nice little café. There are only few people and no one is looking at me. Soon a big cup of tea is standing in front of me. Ahh, that’s good, that’s just what I need right now! The strong hot liquid going down my throat almost instantly eases the tingle of my nerves. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, savouring the feeling of calming down again.
“May I?”
My eyes jerk open, a stranger has taken a seat at my table, smiling at me and obviously not waiting or caring for an answer. There are quite a lot of free tables, there is no need for him to sit down at mine, and anyway I want to be left alone, want to think, want to get calm. Why the hell has he…? Oh my god - no, not one of - them! - Not here - not now! I give him my grumpiest and most unpleasant look, my ever working “go away and leave my alone” look. But he doesn’t, he just stays, still smiling, his blue eyes fixed upon my face. Maybe I really should hurt him.
“I know you! You’re Sean Bean! The actor, you know! ‘ve seen all your movies, watched every time you’ve been on stage! I’m your greatest fan, you know!”
OH NOOOOO!!!! No, no, no, no, no!! Why??? Why me?? Why now?? Why here??? Why did I ever want to become an actor? Why didn’t I stay with my parents and find a good job in a factory? And anyway, if I just had to become an actor, why do I have to be so dammed good at it, good enough to become really famous?
“Fine mister,” I put all my annoyance in my voice, „really, fine. But you see, I’m busy, have some work to do. If you will excuse me…” Hope that’s enough, hope that’ll make him go away and leave me to myself.
“No, you don’t understand, Sean Bean, mister! You don’t understand! I’m your greatest fan, I know everything about you! Everything, really!”
Oh my god, no, that can’t be, surely he doesn’t mean that! He can’t know - nobody has seen me, I’ve been careful, looked around. He can’t mean - it’s impossible for him to know - it’s my secret! But hasn’t his smile deepened to an almost ugly and slimy grade, and aren’t his eyes blinking at me in a knowing way? Or am I just going mad and imagining things? Have to get rid of this menace, have to get rid of him now!
“Ok, fine, but please will you be so kind to let me alone now!” He can’t misunderstand that, he has to leave now or I’ll call the waiter to have him thrown out. Maybe I should even call the police! Yes, call the police, if he doesn’t stop bothering me. That’s exactly what I’ll do and then I’ll enjoy my tea in peace.
“No, you still don’t understand me!” Oh my god, he’s leaning towards me and his smile IS slimy and his eyes ARE blinking knowingly “I know everything about you, Sean Bean, and if I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING!”
No, this just can’t be, it’s impossible! Surely he doesn’t know that! He’s just bluffing, yes it’s just a big bluff, he doesn’t even have a clue how much he’s upsetting me. Calm down, Beanie Boy, calm down, be nice and sort this out. It’s all harmless, it’s nothing. He’s just one of these nutty fans, trying to get attention from their idols. So just let him tell whatever little secrets he imagines to have read in yellow press, tell him how glad you are to have such a nice fan, give him an autograph and see him gone. It’s that easy, just five minutes of acting the nice guy and I’ll finish my cup of tea all alone and in peace.
“And what exactly would that be? What is this everything you know about me? You really made me curious.” It’s good to be an actor, my voice is calm and even, my face folded in a relaxed and assuring smile, none of my features showing a hint of my inner turmoil. I think, this will show him, that he can’t bother me, that I have nothing to hide. Just a matter of time, some more minutes and this nasty disrupt will be over and forgotten.
“Well Mr. Sean Bean, I know where you live,” ok, so much I could imagine. So come on man, tell me your dull little facts and leave me alone. “I know who your parents are and where they live, I know about your ex-wives and your daughters. Names and addresses both of course.” Oh god, there’s that nasty feeling again, this feeling like a myriad of ants crawling up my spine. What does he want? Where will this lead to? Stay calm Bean, stay calm, these are no secrets, everyone can find out it doesn’t mean anything- at least I hope so-
“And I know” - When did his face come so close that I can almost feel his hot breath? - “where you have strolled around for the last days, in which shop you’ve been and what’s in this little brown bag. Maybe you want to come with me to a quiet place where we‘re undisturbed and let us have a little talk. “
Oh shit, he knows! He really knows! And now he surely notices every sign of my embarrassment. My face must be white as chalk, I feel that all the blood left it, and my eyes wide and blank with horror. Thick pearls of sweat form upon my forehead. The man leans back in his seat, still grinning and seeming totally at ease with himself he takes in my panicked expression. But no, I wont let him scare me to the bones, won’t give him this much satisfaction. Be brave, Beanie, stay calm and get through with this unpleasant incident. He has no proof to his words, he can’t do anything.
“I don’t think I want to talk to you, Mr. Whoever-you-are. I don’t think there is anything we have to talk about and I never will join you at your undisturbed place!” I hope my voice doesn’t sound too shaky but I think I am doing quite well.
“Well, Mr. Bean, I really hoped you would be more cooperative!” How can someone this mean speak in such a calm, almost bored sounding way? “But as it is you force me to be more convincing. I really wanted to spare you that.” What’s he up to? What does he mean with that? Sweat is running down my back at the same pace as the myriads of ants are crawling up my spine. My heart doesn’t know whether to race or to stop, so it tries to do both at the same time.
“You know, Mr. Bean, I’ve got some photographs the media really will be interested in. So it’s up to you, whether I’ll hand them out or not. Do you want everyone, including your parents and your daughters, see photos of you, coming out of a gay-shop with this little brown bag gripped firmly in your hand? If I remember right, your daughters still go to school. Do you want them to be teased about their father, the famous Sean Bean, being gay? It’s up to you, and only you, come with me and keep your secret or refuse me and all the world will know.”
Why doesn’t the earth open to swallow me? Why doesn’t my heart stop to beat and let me die of a merciful heart attack? But something’s changing within me. The panic starts to mingle with anger. A really hot bolt of anger. This fucking bastard can’t blackmail me like this, he shouldn’t bring my kids and my parents into his filthy game. And I don’t believe in his photos, I have been careful!
“You can’t blackmail me!” I tell him my thoughts, “I don’t believe you have one single photo because you can’t have photos of something that never happened!” Right so, Sean Boy, deny everything, show him he can’t get to you! “You’re just bluffing! It’s only a big bluff, I know that much! And besides, you won’t get away with it because I intend to turn you in as soon as I see only one--” OOOPS - big mistake - I really fucked it up! Remind me to never let my anger overflow my tongue! And he has noticed, I see the malicious sparkle in this bastard’s eyes.
“Hold on Mr. Sean Bean, I’m not a fool. I would never say something without a proof.” Still smiling he reaches into his pocket and drags out a little camera. “Of course I have these nice little photos, look!” He holds the digital camera just close enough for me to see, but carefully avoids enabling me to reach for it and smash it to the ground. “See, here you are standing in front of this gay bar, not daring to go inside. Yes, I’ve watched you for days, following every one of your steps. Ah, and here we are, see, you inside this shop, buying things, and here you’re coming out with your little bag. See your flushed cheeks, your uneasy look? So I don’t bluff, I never do! And what’s this shit about turning me in? No one knows me! An anonymous letter can’t be traced back Do you really think anyone will believe you? And besides, it really wouldn’t matter anymore.”
Fuck! That’s a point! He is right about this. I really don’t know him. I surely can’t go to the police and tell them, there is a man, blackmailing me with proofs about me being someway into men. And he, he knows this, he knows that there is nothing I can do without confirming everything he is about to relay about me. He knows, he’s got me in his hands. So what does he want? Money? Yes, I hope it’s just money he wants. I’ll be really glad to give him every amount he desires, just to get rid of his fucking presence.
“So,” I hate to have to clear my voice, I hate to stammer, I hate to feel the way I do now, humiliated and frightened to the bones, “what do you want of me?”
“Oh, it is not a great thing I want!” The bastard smiles in an almost warm and reassuring way. “I just want you to come with me to my place so that we can have a little... talk. Kind of sort out… matters. So, Mr. Bean, if you please would follow me. And if you would be so kind and put this anxious expression off your face, people are starting to look at you.”
God, I really don’t like the way he stresses the words “talk” and “matters” but I have no choice. I can’t have him making these photos public; I can’t have the world knowing about my secret desires. My parents, it would kill them and my daughters, how they adore their famous daddy. I already can hear other children teasing them about same famous daddy being a cocksucking faggot. Although I’ve only dreamed about… No, I have no choice, I have to follow the bloody asshole, have to save my family from this shame. If I’d only stayed content with dreaming, if I’d only never went to these places I didn’t dare to enter, if I only had never been in this shop, never bought these things, if I…
I hate it when my knees seem to be made of jelly! I hate it when I have the feeling that all people stare at me and see me stumble. The bastard dares to grab my arm and steady me, oh how I wish to smash my fist into his grinning face. But I can’t hit him; I can’t even tear me loose. People would notice, they would ask questions and then they would KNOW! I can’t do anything but let him lead me away, smiling at me as if he was my best and oldest pal.
The moment I enter the bastard’s home I know. Oh my god, I know. I should have known before, why didn’t I think of it! It was obvious all the time! The man is a maniac, an insane lunatic, all gone and nuts! He will kill me here in this room! I will never leave it alive! I’ll die in here! I just know it! I’ve come upon one of the thousands of shitheads running the streets and killing stars to get their five minutes of fame. Well, at least I will be in good company; JFK, John Lennon, and so on, and so on, like I said, there are thousands.
The walls of the room are covered with pictures of me, pictures of every movie I’ve made, of every theatre I’ve played in, pictures of my private live and even of my childhood. There is even one showing me as a baby lying naked on a bearskin. And what’s this, there in the middle of the room? Oh my god, it’s kind of an altar, an altar with my photo on it and candles and stuff! What’s this nutcase going to do? Kill me and lay my head on his fucking altar? Dear god, no, I don’t want to die! Not here, not now, not ever and not like this! I’m still young, I’m on the peak of my fame, there are so many things I still want to do. I’ll die now without ever having… How can I think of that now? This shit just brought me in this situation! The fucking bastard would never have been able to get to me if I only hadn’t tried to live out my dreams.
I should talk to him. Maybe, maybe he won’t kill me if I get him into a talk. But where have I left my voice? Somewhere deep within my trembling body, stuck in my dry mouth, running away with the thick pearls of sweat dropping down my face and drenching my clothes. I can’t open my mouth, I’ll vomit if I do so, puke all over this dammed place and this fucking altar. I just feel my stomach clench and the sour taste of throw-up crawl up my throat. And he’ll probably be so angry if I do so, angry enough to kill me at once. But I have to do something; I cannot just stand here and let everything happen.
“Like what you see Sean Bean? I made all of this for you! To show you that I am really your greatest fan!”
After what seems like aeons I find a way to move my eyes and look at him. And the monster is smiling at me! He is smiling! A friendly, warm and open smile! And not only his mouth smiles, his blue eyes are fixed on me with a reassuring and friendly look
“Please mister,” somehow I find a whimpering shade of my voice, “please, don’t kill me! I’ll do everything you want, give you everything you desire, but please, don’t kill me!”
“Kill you!?” There is real astonishment in his voice, “Sean, Sean, why should I kill you? Sean, look at me! I’m your fan, remember! I only want you to have a nice time with me. Oh no, no you mustn’t be afraid of me. I won’t do anything you don’t want to be done to you, I promise! But you look a bit pale and shaky. Come here, Sean, relax have a seat just here next to me. Do you want a glass of water?”
So I won’t die, I’ll live, the bastard won’t kill me! But can I trust him? I do so much want to trust him, believe all he has said to me. And in some way I do, in some way I know now that he won’t kill me, that I’ll survive. I don’t understand what’s going on with me, but the deadly panic is loosening its grip, my heart stops racing and my lungs start to breathe again. Still unsteady on my feet I walk to the couch and sit down beside him. It’s a very small couch and I have to sit really close to him, almost in touch with his body and I can feel the heat radiating from him. But although I still don’t know what’s going to happen, although I’m still full of fear I start to calm down in a strange way I’m almost at ease.
“You’re sweaty all over; your shirt is all wet. Take it off, Sean, I’ll rub you dry.” He’s speaking so softly and soothingly that I feel the urge to relax totally and let him do as he wants. It would be nice to be comforted like this after all I’ve been through in the last minutes. But I can’t have this, I just can’t let him have his way with me. I don’t want to be touched by this bastard. But it would be so nice… Where is your pride Bean, how can you think like this? He’s a bastard, threatening you and you’re thinking about him soothing you? Where is your pride boy, where is your pride?
“Don’t touch me! I don’t want you to touch me and I surely won’t take off my shirt!” I try to move away from him, but there is not enough space left and now his hand is lying on my shoulder.
“Don’t be stupid Mr. Sean Bean you’re sticky and wet all over. Do you want to catch pneumonia? Off with this shirt I say and let me take care of you!”
There’s nothing I can do against this commanding tone. Very reluctantly I pull my shirt over my head and let him rub me dry. Ah… it feels really good this soft towel against my skin, the strong and sure movements of his hands over my chest and my back. As he rubs the towel through my hair I almost can’t resist the urge to lean into his touch. But - what the fuck am I doing here? This man is a fucking maniac, a loony having his way with me and I want to lean into his touch? Beanie, are you gone totally mad, man? This bastard’s a teaser, an annoyance not a friend! Get your wits together, boy, fight it, move away from this menace. As if he’d sense my confusion he stops his actions with a reassuring pad on my shoulder.
“Better now!” It’s a statement, not a question. “And now, how do you like my little exhibition?”
Normally I’m very fond to see my pictures. Normally I can’t get enough of them. But here and now it’s damn eerie to see my face smile from every wall and I really can’t stand the eyes of my baby-self staring at me.
“Where did you get them from? The ones from my childhood I mean. They are not easy to get.” My mouth is still dry, I’m stammering and fighting for words as I try to hide myself in the towel wrapped around my shoulders. Keep him talking, Beanie, keep him talking. He won’t do anything else while he’s talking. Feign interest in everything he has to say, give him the feeling that you cling to his lips. Show him that he’s great, that you adore him and maybe this will be enough to satisfy his wicked ego. Maybe I’ll get away with that, maybe he’ll be content and nothing more will happen.
“Collected. Took me quite some time to get them all together. But I always get what I want. It only takes time and I can be really patient if I want something. I even have got photos of your family, want to see them?” The bastard moves to get up, but stops at my shaken expression. “But as I intent us to have a nice time together I thought that maybe it would be a little bit embarrassing for you to have the faces of your family staring at you. - Oh no, no Sean,” he holds me to the couch in a strong but not hurtful grip as I jump up in sheer panic. “I won’t rape you. When I say I want us to have a good time together, I mean both of us. You’ll like it, Mr. Sean Bean, you’ll really like it. I know you want it, don’t deny it. I know you’re dreaming about it and now here I am to make your dreams come true.”
So that’s it, that’s what it’s all about. The bastard is going o fuck me! He’s going to fuck me and I can’t do anything about it! Oh my god, it’s going to happen! Surely, I’ve dreamed about being together with a man. Surely I want to know how it is like. But never, never this way. I always imagined it to be someone I care about, someone I like, not some motherfucking maniac forcing me to let him shove his dick up my ass. And I can’t do anything against it. I’m totally at his mercy. I just have to let it happen and can only hope it won’t be too bad. Just sort of “close your eyes and think of England” as Victorian mothers told their daughters before their wedding night. Maybe that’s quite a good advice, maybe that’s just what I should do; close my eyes and imagine he’s someone else.
My hands are trembling, my stomach is twisting and my mouth has turned into a vast desert, but at the same time there is a certain tightness building up in my trousers. Oh how can my body betray me like this! I don’t want this to happen but on the other hand - maybe it will not be too bad. At least he is clean. And handsome, yes really, the bastard is handsome with his lean but muscular body, his blue eyes, his hair somewhere between dark blonde and brown with just a shade of grey and his soft red lips. Yes he is handsome and maybe it won’t be too bad. But he’s a fucking maniac, he’s forcing me, it has to be bad, it only can be bad with a lunatic like him. So why this tightness in my pants, why this anticipation, why this longing to be touched by him? It will be awful, I’ll hate it. I hate it right now and I hate my treacherous body humiliating me beyond all measure, wanting something I don’t want at all. Because the bastard notices, he notices every slight reaction of my body, notices my embarrassment and notices the growing bulge between my legs. He notices and he smiles.
“I knew you’d like my suggestion, I knew you couldn’t wait to start our little game. And I’ll play you well, this I promise. I’d have you screaming my name if you knew it before I’m finished with you.” He’s leaning against me, his hand stroking my thighs. This must be how a little rabbit feels in front of a snake, unable to move, anticipating, wanting to run away and at the same time craving for more.
“Now let’s have a look at the things you bought for us!” I desperately try to rip the bag out of his hand, but too late he’s emptied it into his lap, looking amused at my secrets. “So what have we got here. Hmm lube, very clever, we’ll surely need it. And what’s this, a dildo? Doesn’t seem to be quite big, starter’s kit I suppose. Well there you’ll get something better today.” It’s so embarrassing to see him fumbling with my toys. My cheeks are burning and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I can’t stand this humiliation any longer, why doesn’t he just fuck me and be done with it. But I know it’s going to be even worse.
“Wow and look here - a video. ‘Big Dicks in Tight Asses’ Oh wow, wow, naughty boy you are Sean Bean, naughty boy with naughty videos. But I knew you’d be like this and I like naughty boys. Is it this you want, a big dick in your tight little ass? Today is your lucky day Mr. Sean Bean, today you’ll get everything you always wanted.”
His lips are nibbling at my ear as he whispers the last sentence and his hot tongue is tracing my earlobe. There is naught I can do against the hot jolts of pleasure going straight down to my groin. And now there is a hand stroking said groin and again there is naught I can do to keep my hips from moving into the touch. It’s thwarting, I don’t want to react like this, to feel like this, I don’t want to feel this annoying pleasure, don’t want to moan like I know I do just now. With an effort I turn my head away – and look straight into the eyes of my baby photo. Oh what a cute innocent baby I’ve been and now here I am moving my hips wantonly into the touch of a motherfucking bastard who is up to fucking me. I can’t stand this! The baby is looking at me, asking me how I could get so low, how I can enjoy something like this. I think I’ve gone rigid with shock, tears are streaming down my cheeks and I can’t suppress a sob.
“Sean, what is it, Sean!” The bastard really seems to be startled. “What is it? It’s the photo, you don’t like it, it makes you feel uneasy. Don’t want your baby-self watch how needy you are? Well, I thought you’d like it, but as it is I’ll put it away.” With this he takes the offending picture from the wall and hides it behind a staple of papers. “Well now this should be better. Nothing here to disturb you again everything’s fine. Just you and me having a good time. Don’t be upset ‘cause you’ve been a cute little baby once and are a needy guy now. All of us have been babies, drooling and babbling and sucking our thumbs. And now, well still drooling and babbling sometimes, but definitely wanting to suck other things. Here I’ve got a photo of myself when I was a baby, cute little guy, isn’t it? But now here I am, a grown man in the best of his years, living his life and enjoying his pleasures. And with you it’s just the same. So stop shaking, relax and lean back. We’ve just been in the middle of something and I want to go on with it.”
I don’t know how he’s doing this. Every time I’m about to panic and I mean to really panic, not the fretful feeling I have all the time since I’m here, there is something in his voice and in his way of acting which calms me down immediately. Maybe it’s the tone, strong, demanding but all the way pleasant, maybe it’s the anticipation of my body, the growing tightness in my pants overruling the disgust of my mind but I can’t do anything else than settle down again next to him. At once his hands are all over me again, probing, noticing my hardness and as hard as I try, I can’t stop my body from moving into his touch.
“Ah you like this! I knew you’d like it, all naughty boys like to be rubbed and squeezed between their legs. Yeah, move your hips, show me how much you like it. That’s good, spread your legs, press your dick into my hand. Ah you’re so hard, I’ve made you so hard. Such a naughty, naughty boy, can’t wait to get more. Naughty boys always want to get fucked, yeah, you want me to fuck you so badly, can’t wait to get fucked.”
His voice is hell. Slow, husky and the most erotic I’ve ever heard. My mind cries at me that I’m being used, molested, soiled, that I have to fight it, have to try to get away, can’t let this happen to me but my body reacts to this voice and these hands, my hips move of their own and I can’t suppress the whimpering sounds coming out of my throat. Yes it feels so good, everything the bastard’s doing to me feels so good. Yes I don’t want him to stop, I want him to go on, I want him to fuck me.
“But first we’ll have a little preview of how to pass the rest of the evening.” He’s moving away from me! How can he do that to me? Why doesn’t he go on stroking me? He just can’t leave me like this now. The bastard’s reaching for the video tape, putting it into the recorder. Oh no, he can’t do that, he can’t make me watch this with him. But he has already started the film and there is a close up of a big dick being licked and sucked by an eager mouth.
“Yeah, that’s nice, you like to watch this naughty boy, you like to watch a guy getting a good blowjob. Ah, such a naughty boy you are to buy videos like this. Aren’t they nice to look at? And watch close, naughty boy, ‘cause that’s exactly what you’ll do to me.”
No! I can’t do this, I’ve never- but why are the ants crawling up my spine again, ants of pleasurable expectance and not ants of revulsion and apprehension? He’s opening his jeans, slowly, inch by inch. I can’t keep my eyes from this hand undoing button after button. I can’t keep my eyes from this hand dragging out this big hard penis and gliding slowly up and down his length. I can’t keep my eyes from this hard and throbbing dick and my own trousers are about to burst under my own hardness. Why does my mouth start to water for him? It surely will be disgusting to have this thing in my mouth, to taste these drops of liquid forming on the tip. Surely they’ll taste revolting. Do I lick my lips in anticipation? I don’t want this.
“Suck me!” I can’t move, I’m frozen to the spot. “Suck me I said! On your knees and suck me!”
Again this demanding voice I can’t resist. Reluctantly I drop to my knees and near my mouth the menacing phallus in front of me. Already I can smell his musky aroma and it isn’t bad at all. Slowly I trace my tongue over the slit in the swollen head and get a first taste of his fluid. It isn’t as bad as I expected, actually it isn’t bad at all! A little bitter and salty but not bad at all, I think I could come to like this taste. I lick again, bolder this time, wanting to probe the texture of the hard flesh. He moans, a deep and throaty moan coming right out of his breast. So he likes what I’m doing! I am able to please him. I’m really proud! I want him to moan more, I want him to shiver and cry out under my ministrations. So I wrap my mouth around the thick shaft and start to lick and suck like I’d never done anything other in my entire life. And he likes it! His hand is tangled in my hair, pressing my head even closer towards him, his hips are moving constantly, shoving his dick deep into my eager mouth and he’s moaning sweet husky moans.
“Ah - that’s good - yeah suck my dick naughty boy, suck my dick. Yeah that’s good suck it deep into your mouth. - Such a talented mouth naughty boy. - A naughty boy with a talented mouth that’s the way I like it! - Yeah swirl your tongue around it – Yeah suck me - lick me - so good! - Let me come in your mouth - let me fill your throat with my seed. - You want me to spill my seed into your mouth. - Naughty boys always want to suck dicks and swallow lots of seed.”
I love every word he utters, I like him to do everything he says. I want him to come in my mouth, to spill his seed into my mouth I want to swallow every drop of him and to lick him clean afterwards. But most of all I want to reach down between my own legs, I want to rip open my trousers and touch myself and do something about my own painful erection.
“Enough!” My head is pushed back and the velvety length pops out of my mouth. “Enough for now! Now get up and step out of your trousers. They seem to be a little damp. Off they go! And you won’t need your pants either. Let me see what you’ve got. And don’t cross your hands in front of you, I want to see what my naughty boy has brought for daddy.”
Again I can’t withstand the commanding tone of this sinful voice. It’s so eerie to stand naked and rock hard in the middle of a room covered with pictures of oneself and a fully clothed man with his penis sticking out from his trousers prowling around. I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my entire live I think this must be how a jelly dessert feels before it gets eaten, all wobbling and trembling. I don’t know where to look at, so I fix my gaze on the TV screen where the porn is still going on. A guy is shoving his cock up the ass of another guy who is slightly frowning with pain at the intrusion. Pain! There will be pain! Why didn’t I think of it! Surly there will be pain. Just look at the big thick thing. It will never fit into my asshole! It will tear me into pieces. Oh god it will hurt so much!
“Beautiful, just like I imagined.” The husky voice once more sends shivers all over my body, and the hands tracing a line down my stomach towards my eager waiting dick leaves only one thought in my mind. Only one thought of being touched, taken, brought to release.
“Maybe you should lie down there on the couch; your knees are giving in. And besides it would make things easier for both of us. Just give me one minute to take off my clothes and then I’ll be ready for you, ready to make my naughty boy scream with pleasure, begging for having my dick up to the hilt in his little ass, begging to be fucked. Ah I see you’re rock hard and dripping, can’t wait to be fucked, can’t wait to have my dick in your ass. Ah such a naughty boy you are, ‘t will be so hot to hear you scream.”
This voice, these words, that’s almost enough to bring me over the edge. I’m definitely squirming with anticipation as I lie down on the couch, which is way too short and lets my legs tangle down from its sides. I feel so exposed and humiliated lying there naked and hard, my legs spread waiting for what’s to come. And I have to confess that I savour the feeling. It’s hot in a way I never thought possible. What’s the matter with me? Am I a pervert? A pervert wanting to be humiliated and used? I fear what’s going to happen, I’m repelled by the situation and the way I react but at the same time I relish every minute of expectance and can’t wait to get more. And this mixture of emotions is the most erotic sensation I’ve ever known.
My predator has gotten rid of his clothes and is running his hands over his lean but muscular body, one hand pinching his nipples and the other running slowly up and down his hard length and caressing his balls. All the time he’s moaning softly under his own touch, his eyes fixed on my face. This sight is way more than I can stand, I’ve never seen anything as hot. Involuntarily my hand reaches down to my painful erection.
“Keep your hands away from your dick! Don’t you dare to touch yourself! Don’t you dare to come unless I tell you to! I won’t tie you up, ‘t would be too easy. Cross your arms behind your head and grab your wrists; and don’t you dare to move them!”
I can do naught but obey. God, I’ve never felt this embarrassed, I’ve never felt this exposed, I’ve never felt this hot and sexy. Strong but tender hands are moving across my breast, circling my nipples, squeezing and pinching them into hard peaks. Hot jolts of pleasure are running straight down into my twisting hardness, causing my hips to jerk upwards. My breath is stuck in my throat with a loud gasp and my back arches into the heavenly touch.
“Ah, so sensitive! Such a naughty boy reacting to the slightest touch. Such a needy bitch you are. Can’t wait to get fucked, can’t wait to have my dick in your ass, can’t wait to have your tight hole stretched around my big dick. Ah how hot you look all wanton and squirming with your legs spread wide waiting for me to fuck you! How hot you look with your hard dick throbbing and leaking with precum wanting to be touched. Ah I want to taste you, let me have a taste of you.”
I whimper, I can’t do anything but whimper. Oh please stop talking about it, oh please do it already, take me, fill me with your hardness! Oh please never stop talking, never deprive me of your sinful voice! Never ever has anybody talked to me like that, never ever have I been this aroused. I can’t bear this any longer; I want this to go on for ever and ever.
Oh my god he’s touching me, sliding his thumb over my leaking cock! Oh my god it’s so good! I just have to cry out, I just have to thrust my hips into his touch. It’s so good, please don’t stop! My nails are digging into my wrists. It’s so good to have something to hold on to, even if this something is my own wrist My sinful tormentor brings his precum-smeared finger to his lips and slowly licks it clean, his gaze all the time locked to my face. I can’t keep from shivering and moaning at this sight, I can’t keep from spreading my legs wider apart inviting him to touch me again.
“Mmh, the taste of a naughty boy bitch! Just how I like it, my favourite taste.”
Aah his tongue! His tongue and his mouth! All over me! All over my straining hardness! This hot, sucking mouth, this wet, licking tongue! So good - oh my god so good! I can’t breathe only gasp and moan, my head is lolling helplessly from side to side and my hips are thrusting towards heaven. I’m about to burst, I’m about to come. Ah yeah I’ll come! I’ll come right now right into this hot mouth.
“Don’t you dare to come! I told you not to come unless I say so and I can’t remember saying anything like it!”
The mouth is gone, the tongue is gone, just in the moment I was about to find my release. It’s so frustrating it hurts - aah yeah here it is again! The blissful mouth, the heavenly tongue caressing my aching member, sliding along the whole length, circling around the swollen tip, licking up every drop of precum. Aah good - good – it’s so good - I want to come so badly! But I’m not allowed to come, he’ll stop again and I don’t want him to stop I want him to go on with this for ever and ever.
The mouth moves down, nimble lips are caressing my balls, sucking them into the hot cavern and the agile muscle is licking and playing with their heavy weight. Still the blue gaze of my tormentor is fixed upon me and he is watching every squirm of my body, every thrash of my head and every heavy pant and moan escaping my throat with his predatory eyes. And squirm and thrash and pant I do. It’s too good to have my balls licked and sucked like this, far too good to stay composed. My knees bend by themselves and move towards my breast to gain more space for the exquisite ministrations.
God! My whole body jerks upwards – the tongue has swept over my--- Oh my god that’s disgusting - oh my god that’s wonderful! My tiny opening twists with utter delight under the strange sensation and my legs open wide to gain the keen muscle better access. I howl out my pleasure and have to grip my wrists really hard to stop my hands from moving apart. The bastard would stop whatever he’s doing to me if I’d move my hands and I don’t want him to stop. It’s too good to want him to stop. I never ever want him to stop licking me there. My hips are moving wantonly, my cock is twitching with delight, a big puddle of precum forming on my stomach and I never thought that such animal tunes could come out of my throat. The tongue is breeching my entrance, plunging deep into my body, doing heavenly things I never thought possible. Oh god – good - so good - please don’t stop - give me more - oh god I want more!
“Ah you like it!” I don’t know how he manages to speak and lick at the same time, but to say the truth I don’t care. The husky voice makes me move even more feverishly and my groans turn almost into sobs. “Ah that’s good my naughty boy bitch likes to get his ass licked. Ah yeah - that’s good – show me how much you like it - show me how much you like to have my tongue stuck up your ass. Ah yeah – move your ass round my tongue – yeah cry it out – let me hear how much you like it - Ah yeah – you’re so hot – such a hot naughty boy bitch – ah - so hot – you’re making me so hot – have to fuck you now – can’t wait any longer!”
Now it’s going to happen! Why? It’s been so good until now! Why has he to do this to me? He’s too big, his cock will never fit into my tight opening. He’ll tear me apart, it will hurt so much. But I want it too, I want him to enter my body, to fill me with his thick hardness, to plunge into me and make me his own.
“Relax! Don’t tense up. Let me prepare you. Naughty boys need to be prepared properly to make them scream. Some lube and now I’ll shove my finger up your ass. Yeah keep your knees bent to your breast. Ah that’s good – open up for me and relax. Let my finger slide into your tight ass - ah yeah – here it comes – all the way in – ah – that’s good - yeah you like it – I can see how much you like it. A naughty boy always likes to have a finger stuck up his ass. Ah yeah – move your ass around my finger – ah – that’s good!”
The slick digit probing my entrance, slightly pushing forward and breeching the ring of muscles is so arousing that I almost miss the little discomfort. Ah – it feels so good being entered like this. I notice that I’ve been holding my breath and let it out in a shaky moan. Ah – it feels so good. The finger within my body is slowly gliding back and pushing forth again and my hips eagerly follow the movement. Oh my god – it feels so good - - so good – I want more - - oh my god I want more.
“That’s it – yeah that feels good - that’s so good for you. Ah, naughty boy, enjoying this so much. Such a needy bitch, can’t get enough of it, wanting more. I know you want more - naughty boys always want more. Want another finger? Ah yeah – here you are – all the way in like the first. And now I’ll open you up, stretch you wide for my big dick. Yeah - push down on my fingers - fuck yourself on my fingers - ah yeah - that’s so good - you like it so much – ah it’s so hot - you’re such a hot naughty boy bitch fucking yourself on my fingers like that!”
There’s a little more discomfort now but it does not matter. It’s so good to have these fingers in me, so good to plunge on them, trying to get them deeper into my body. The fingers move round within me, stretching me and - - OH MY GOD - - a lightning – a lightning of pure ecstasy making my whole body arch up and eliciting a loud cry of pleasure from my lungs. My hands almost lose their grip around my wrists. I want this again! – Please – please - do it again – I want it so much! Oh my god – there it is again – ah yes – good – so good – and again – oh my god – again! Is there a third finger thrusting into me? I don’t care! My breath comes out in ragged moans, whimpers and cries and my whole body twists and shivers under the onslaught of the heavenly sensations. And beside all, there is this voice, this husky sensual voice driving me utterly insane.
“Here you are – ah yeah, how you like this! Ah it’s so good to see how much you like this! Needy naughty boy bitch looking so hot with three of my fingers deep in your ass! So hot how your tight asshole is stretched around my fingers wriggling and twisting. – Ah god yeah – how you love it every time I rub over your sweet spot! – Ah yeah – that’s good - that’s hot - scream it out - let me hear how much you like it. – Want it again? – Here you are – and again – and again! Ah god yeah – so hot to hear you scream – hot naughty boy bitch shivering and squirming like this - so utterly shameless – ah god – so hot – so hot and ready for me – ready for my big dick. Ah yeah – you want me – want my big dick in your ass – want me to stick it in to the hilt – want me to fill you till you can taste me in your mouth - Ah god – I’m going to come just from thinking of it - ‘m going to come all over you just from thinking of my big dick up to the hilt in your tight naughty boy’s ass. – Ah yeah – god - have to take you now – give me just one moment to take a condom and lube up and then – ah – then I’ll ram my big dick right up your hot ass!”
The blissful fingers are withdrawn and I feel utterly at loss. But still I can’t stop squirming and moaning and after a short moment the thick head of the engorged rigid cock is pressed against my tiny opening slowly thrusting forward gaining access. Ah god – it hurts! I knew it would never fit into me, would be too big, would tear me apart! I don’t want this! I want this to stop! My body gets tense with pain fighting the dreadful invader, wanting to push him out. Tears well up in my eyes and run slowly down my cheeks. I turn my head and close my eyes, not wanting the bastard to see my pain.
“Open your eyes and look at me! Look at my face! Listen to my voice! Don’t shut me out! Don’t fight me! Open up for me, relax! Let me in! Yeah, that’s it, that’s much better. Yeah open up for me, let me in, yeah that’s the way I like my naughty boy. I know you like it too -look at your dick staying rock hard and dripping all the time, never gone limb. I know you like it, even the little discomfort at the beginning. Give in to it, give in to the pleasure! Ah – it feels so good to be in you - you’re so hot - so tight – ah yeah let me in – let me shove my dick in to the hilt – ah yeah – it’s so good – you’re so good for me – ah god yeah!”
The pain fades to a bearable, almost pleasurable discomfort as soon as I fix my eyes again on his face and surely I would do anything, endure the most dreadful pain to hear this voice. The straining hardness is slowly pushed up my tight channel and it feels so good to be filled like this. Ah god – it feels so good to be utterly filled by this velvety length pulsating within me and slowly moving back and forth.
“Yeah now – you like it – I told you you’d like it – naughty boys always like to have a dick deep in their ass – Ah god – it’s so good – feels so good – so tight – so hot - Ah god yeah – I want to fuck you – fuck you hard – want to fuck you through next week – ah god – it’s so good – Tell me – tell me how you like it – tell me what you want me to do! - Speak!”
God – I can’t speak. I’m too busy with panting and squirming there’s no breath left for speaking. But one look in his face gone soft with pleasure, one look into these blue eyes shining with pure lust is enough for me to want to do whatever he asks me for.
“Oh god – it’s so good – it’s so good to feel you in me – so good to be filled by you – oh god – so good – I like it so very much – oh god – please move – please fuck me - fuck me hard – god – it’s so good – I want it so much!”
The thrusts become deeper as he speeds up the rhythm of his movements, his hands holding on to my knees in a firm grip. His own breath is coming out in ragged moans, mingling with my whimpers and cries as he plunges deep into me in a hard and steady pace.
“God! – Can’t hold it back any longer – am about to come – come with me!”
I jerk as his hand closes around my throbbing shaft stroking it in the rhythm of his thrusts. The last thing I see is his head thrown back in the grip of his release, the last thing I feel is the throbbing pulsation of his cock as he comes in heavy spurts deep within me. Then my own orgasm hits me with the force of a tornado, my body twisting in fits as I spill my seed all over my stomach. I cry out on top of my lungs, cry out the one word, the one name I’ve sealed deep within my soul.
“VIGGO!”
Then there is a bright light all around and then there is blackness.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As I come back to my senses I’m cleaned up and neatly tucked into a blanket. Smiling I open my eyes and look straight into the deeply concerned face of my lover.
“God, love, you scared me so, you scared me shitless. I thought I’d lose you, thought I wouldn’t be able to get you through this. I was about to break off when you panicked.”
I reach out to stroke his face, to run my fingers over the divine cleft in his chin which I love so much. I know exactly what he needs right now, what we both need after a session as heavy as this one.
“Come here love, let me hold you. Come, lie down beside me, let’s cuddle. It’s been so good, better than I ever imagined. I knew I’d be save with you, you always keep me save. I knew you’d lead me through this scene. I know I can trust you with my life.”
He glides under the blanket and I feel his whole body shiver as I put my arms around him to hold him tight. Maybe I really pushed him too hard with my eagerness for new sensations But I know he’ll keep me save, I know I can trust him
“Just promise me one thing Sean, love”, Viggo says, pulling me into a close embrace, “just one thing, please, never trust me like this again. I don’t know if I could stand it one more time.”
Summary: Sean only wants to have a cup of tea after shopping, when he meets this stranger
Rated: NC-17
Categories: Actor RPS Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Warnings: Non-conChallenges:
Series: NoneChapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 9351 Read: 837
Published: 09 Aug 2009 Updated: 09 Aug 2009